"Did you see that?! That was really difficult, what I just did!"

"I need a coooool vampire! A cool, cool, cool, cool vampire!"

When I was doing stand-up, I opened for him once at the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, OR. His wife performed, too. Yes, he was wearing "smokable jewelry".

I started upstaging commenters three months ago and now I get 7918 upvotes a week, commenting in my spare time.

Okay, here's what I love about this: the 88 looked at a glance like 88 Upvotes. Doesitmatter's comment accepts impending darkness. Thus, it looked like 88 people decided to upvote a spambot, which would of course, herald the impending darkness.

"Knot on my crotch!"
— Guy who just got a vasectomy

Ooh, and then he could rap!

It really is, isn't it?

A shriveled, hairy little guy who kvetches a lot and tries to rip people off in business dealings?? Anti-Semitic?? Vat are you tawking about?!

"Sunlight! Real, unaltered sunlight here! Hey! Hey, come on, let's get some dealing done! This is natural lighting! You can't film without it!"

Yeah, everyone (understandably) was horrified by Jar-Jar's racial caricature implications, but watching it, it was as soon as the trade delegation guys came on that I just kind of looked around in horror, thinking, "I'm not the only one seeing this, am I?"

VideoNope

Oh, GREAT. Thanks a LOT. Now I know how he disposes of his fecal waste. Why even read the BOOK NOW??

I only watch things on zoetrope.

And very quietly sneered & "hmmm'd" the whole time, as if it was you that didn't fit the tux right?

A movie where it's physically impossible not to say - every time John Ratzenberger is on screen - "Hey! It's Cliff Claven!"

You better watch yourself, boy. I have been flagged for 9 comments!

But it's important to prioritize. You may only have time for one insult before your brain seizes up. So one must consider: are they fucking idiots with nerdish tendencies? Or nerds who happen to also be fucking idiots. There are many factors to consider.

That chump?

The Internet has considered your request, and decided to refer it to the Dept. of Easily Enraged, Semi-Literate YouTube Commenters.