I think that's the outfit more than the material.

It's weird that hosting the Tonight Show is considered the pinnacle. It sounds awful to me. Deeply awful. I'd need a bottle of bourbon and a cup of olive oil (to coat my ulcerated stomach enough to get down the bourbon) in my dressing room after the show every night.

Isn't Gao-Tse the one who wrote the Tao te Ching?

It's good you asked - that'd be a terrible love where you just spent that much on it. Though, depending on how long you've been together, she should know you better than that.

"Vomited continental breakfast and was forced to eat it again."

Our babysitter sometimes watches netflix. Then I go to it and it's saying "Because you liked Glee…" or "Because you watched Grey's Anatomy…"

I'm just hoping Eat Up Martha will steal me a bunch of pens, toilet paper, and coffee filters.

Oh I think it's mostly what you're saying - maybe 35% laughing at his own film, 65% saying "Oh my god, shut up."

A while back a movie theater/pub nearby showed Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Every single time Cates came on screen a drunk guy shrieked "I LOVE YOU, PHOEBE!". Every time. It was funny, then not, then it was again, then it wasn't.

Damn, he was good.

Finally!

The scene in Gremlins 2 where they mock the rules is inspired. "So let's say you eat before midnight, but pick something out of your teeth after midnight…" "What if you fly across a time zone?"

Gina Garano version: "Oh, shit. Odysseus just fucked up that cyclops!

Who was he in Night of the Comet? (Yes, I realize I could just look it up)

"What'd you say your name was, again?"
"I didn't."

What was the last part of your comment? It was blurred, for some reason.

God bless college newspapers.

I agree. If someone interesting announced they were going to remake, say, Waterworld or something because they saw a great film inside the crap one, I'd think that was interesting. Exhibit A: Ocean's 11

You guessed it.

DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!