Give him hell, Jr.

You know damn well why we had to change the locks, Jr. You brought this on yourself.

I don't give a darn what kind of wedding they had as long as Pepsi was served to all the guests. Also, the thought of Amber's mouth on the lip of my can….oh my!

Just bring the milk, I'm already here.

Don't listen to him, Hipsters!

Jr., I would appreciate if you didn't use the word "poo". We don't want that bodily function associated with our fine products.

Good God don't bring up Lena Dunham to him! That's all I ever hear about.

I've tried to sell him to RC Cola, but they don't want him either.

Remember, Jr, if the celebrity does not endorse Pepsi-Cola, we have nothing nice to say about them.

Jr., did you just have a stroke?

Captain Dada, you can have Pepsi Jr….that little bastard is driving me crazy.

Proto Furry, Ms. Crawford was a tigress. Talk about getting your top popped…took me a week to build that carbonation back up.

Don't get me started….

Look, I'm doing a bit here and I'm not Coke. Cut me some slack.

You're definitely doing your part, Jr.

Don't forget you were mixed in a glass with rum. Good times, good times.

Being second fiddle to Coke-Cola ain't right either, Jr.

I wish Julianne Moore was his mom. You know how when you shake a can and then open it? Yeah that'd be me with her.

Beats the hell out of losing it to a bottle opener. Happened to your mother, you know.

And you're doing your best to make sure no one remembers Pepsi either.