Oh, and on the subject of cans, let me tell you about Jr's mother…..

Actually, since we're aluminum cans, finishing school is where we are buffed to a high sheen.

All that money on finishing school, and you can't even read well??

Doing well, Col Aphonse Dore Cliburn CBE. If I could only get my progeny to shape up, all would be well in my world.

And I wonder why people keep switching to Coke…..

Really? This is what you do during the day while I'm trying to run a soda empire?

Careful Jr, or you'll be replaced with Dr Pepper.

Filling in for Jr. here since he is busy:

Said the can to the bottle.

uselessbeauty, please don't tease Jr. His mother Fanta and I have been having some problems, and I fear the negative vibes in the house have been damaging to him.

Jr,. please quit watching that "Girls" show. And if you do, please leave the door unlocked. On a related note, we are out of Kleenex again.

He's totally irrelevant. Which is why Coke-Cola is beating us globally.

Narrator, trust me, he is sorry.

Jr., if I could get a decent performance out of you Coke wouldn't be kicking our asses.

Jr., I'm curious if you know what joking actually is?

He's probably not Jr., but based on your internet searches I'm pretty sure thay you are.

LJo1, oh if only we could get him out of the basement.

Jr., I hope you are not refering to women's breasts. Please keep your thoughs clean. God knows your mother is tired of washing your sheets every day.

Fine, Jr. If you don't care for the Coen Brothers, use that video camera I got you for Christmas to make a better movie. The neighbors are tired of you filming them through their windows.

Jr., Dr. Pepper called and told me you haven't been taking your medication. You know how that dulls your senses.