Is this a new Blue Jimmy Fallon gimmick?

In my town, there's an American Legion hall catty-corner from a VFW hall. Sometimes I imagine they rumble. Other times, I imagine the membership has quite a bit of overlap.

Y'know, he's not made any personal attacks about your lady parts — and lemme tell ya, there's a lot of material to work with there.

I think the preferred nomenclature is ¡Jeb!

Is this a real thing, or just a comic exaggeration? I have never seen a depiction of Jesus as blonde-haired and blue-eyed. Fair-skinned, yes, and perhaps unexpectedly so for someone who lived and wandered in the desert 2000 years ago. But always brown-haired and -bearded. Honestly, I never looked closely at the eyes.

When in doubt, assume it's racist. At bottom, everything is.

I would advise studios to just hire all-Chinese casts for period pieces like this. That export market is where the real money is, and audiences have proven time and again that they prefer to see characters on the screen that look like them. Majority — or, at least, plurality — rules!

Don't be so naive. Those Vikings went everywhere!

The crucial action in The Godfather takes place at Christmastime.

Yep, Sarah be Palin' — you betcha!

Today I learned that Velma has a last name.

I saw Alyssa Milano on s commercial the other day for some weight-loss program, I think. Her eyes, voice, and entire demeanor made her seem panicked, and all I could think was, "That poor woman is being held hostage and clearly doing this commercial against her will. Someone save her!"

Once, I was talked into doing a dance called "The Bump", but my hip slipped and my buttocks came into contact with the buttocks of another AV Club commenter!

Really? You would focus your ire on "meme," and not this ridiculous misuse of "dank"? Internet memes are a phenomenon that people might talk about, so how could they interact verbally about the subject without saying the word—- Oh, I think I figured out what's going on here. You don't really ever leave your keyboard,…

I left a symphony performance in Kansas City once, and outside saw one of the cellists hurrying toward the street with her cello in its case, where she got into a waiting taxi. I wondered where a cellist was going in such a hurry after a Saturday night performance. I mean, what emergency would necessitate a cellist…

What? No mention of Simpsons quotes? That's our best work!

I hope he was deadly serious about that.

You're thinking of James Buchanan.

If it's any consolation, within 5 years, robots will have taken over most of the functions of your job, so you won't be working retail much longer.

Lemme tell you something, my Kraut-Mick friend, I'm gonna make so much trouble for you, you won't know what hit ya—-