I thought Nicole Kidman was an American citizen these days.

Amazon has strong religious objections to selling items to non-Prime members. The Hobby Lobby case opened this door for them.

He'd be forced to miss the Homecoming Formal — and he's already bought the tickets and rented the tux and lined up the roofies!

Yeah, as in "you owe" — 'cause college is expensive, yo!

That's enough for me!

Today, I literally was on my shameful way to Taco Bell and stopped at Chipotle instead, rationalizing it as the healthier option. I don't know if that is laughably naive or close to the truth.

Sounds like it's time for some people to rebuild the coal chute into their basements.

I think our corporate overlords are keeping hoverboards and flying cars for themselves. To the barricades!

Up voted for "betweens."

Yes. Especially in the East, where the populations had been urbanized and cosmopolitan for many centuries before the Romans got there.

No. No, he has not.

Laugh all you want, but just about any Statham movie is great to watch if you're stuck running on a treadmill. You can even mute the movie and listen to whatever music you like, because the plots either don't matter or are so formulaic that you can follow them easily without hearing anything onscreen. It's all about…

You know you've jinxed them now

I gotta come clean: I don't drive a Sonata; I could only get an Accent.

But you only ever call it "Saudi," not recognizing that the word is operating as an adjective (modifying "Arabia") in whatever English sentence it's in.

Gas? Pffft. Real men roll coal. You'll never get your dick sucked driving something that doesn't immediately send emphysema sufferers to the ER.

I drive a Sonata. This may have been an act of cruelty.

For Journey, it's all because "Don't Stop Believing" was so integral to the Sopranos finale.

wtf are album charts, lol?!

I'm going to join the Church of Grammerology just so I can open a business in Indiana and deny service to just about everybody.