The biggest problem with Neil Diamond is that he wasn't content being a very good writer and performer of jangly pop songs; no, no, he had to be a serious singer-songwriter. The trouble came when it became apparent that "serious" to him meant schmaltzy, melodramatic, and dull.

If you've got an ant infestation, though, he's your man!

It was a song so seminal that we chose it as part of the aural package we sent into deep space to represent humanity on the Voyager probes.

How come all of us without brain injuries don't get a day devoted to us?

I recently learned something about myself: I would pay real money to see a package show with AC/DC and ZZ Top. I think the "A to Z" possibilities for the tour's name first gote thinking about it.

I read the Aeneid twice with a professor who hated Aeneas because he left Dido in Carthage. She scoffed at all that talk of a larger purposes and higher calling for "pious Aeneas." She argued that he should have told the gods to find someone else to found Rome, because he was going to settle down in Carthage with a…

This is about fictional characters. Ford has shown us that he pretty much is indiana Jones in real life.

"The older the violin, the sweeter the music."

Take a look at the list.

That choice actually fits with several on this list.

Being champ wasn't the goal Rocky set — he was plucked out of obscurity by the boxing gods. The goal Rocky set for himself was getting that mousy chick from the pet store to go out with him. And he nailed it.

Charles Bronson's character in the Magnificent Seven makes this clear to those kids who idolize him.

"If we're counting the Expanded Universe"

Here's an oddball suggestion: Hollywood movie priests from the 1930s. I'm thinking especially of Spencer Tracy's Fr. Flanagan in Boys Town and Patrick O'Brien's character in the inexplicably underrated Angels with Dirty Faces.

I came here to make this very point. The Professor didn't have to make choice between Ginger or Mary Anne.

Han Solo is an older brother who grew up to be Indiana Jones as a man.

Nope. I was punning on "Chewie," but was responding to Alien Jesus; "Chuy" is a nickname for Jesus.

Well, sort of. They asked the 800-pound gorilla to say something about it.

I bet every single one of those elephants feels miserable and disgusted looking in the mirror, all because of unfair body images perpetuated by movies like Fantasia.

You said it, Chuy. Kid, where did you dig up that old fossil?