Morningside Heights, bitches! Home of… well, Columbia dorks.

Not feelin' it
The Hater's heart does not appear to be in this one. Kinda phoned in hate- or maybe I am projecting as I am unmotivated at the moment…

There is a spectre stalking the AV Club- the spectre of verisimilitude.

Hey, Fatty Fatty- that was an obvious joke yet you made it work. Nice one, Fatso.

I miss Bob Probert. They don't make hockey enforcers/entertaining sociopaths like him anymore…

Vince Vaughn and Paris Hilton play themselves as they are dumped into a chipper-shredder and the resulting meat slurry is fed to pigs.

Hack writers should be made into dog food and fed to the homeless. Well, I guess technically that would make it homeless person food rather than dog food but you see where I am going with this.

Mon Dieu, I had never heard of Lucy Pinder but after googling her, I am now googling it to her…

Ewww…

Yes! X-Men arcade game reference! My wasted teenage years thank you for that reminder Joe.

But where DO I get those neon palm trees?

Yeah but Morton Downey was so fucked up he would at least entertain sometimes. I think. It was a long time ago, maybe not. Plus he is mentioned in the great Lou Reed song Sick of You "Now he's on Morton Downey, and he's glowing and shining."

I actually hoped this was a film about Dave Vanian, Captain Sensible, and Rat Scabies.

You mean besides Bronson Pinchot?

DAMN YOU ROBUTTNIK!!!!!

I love the smell of failure in the morning…

"Then, peripheries like drugs and alcohol and whatnot will be the real origins of what I flatter myself by regarding as my own highly personal and discriminating decision to make non-consensual love to the girl opposite me in the public bus transport."

Yes, Beast, he's that Nimrod. Any minute he's going to show up, all pink and crystalline, to put a whuppin' on The Juggernaut, Bitch.

This shit's somethin'. Makes Cambodia look like Kansas.

It's Mississippi, folks. I am a native of ye olde South and have been to almost all its diverse corners and Mississippi is hands down the most ass-backwards of these United States (or at least the South- I have seen some pretty fucked up racist shit in Indiana). I remember going to a random Waffle House there while…