I gave up on the show when it became blatantly obvious Kurt was Ryan Murphy's Mary Sue

If only we could somehow harness the power of Belushi spinning in his grave. Electricity would be one cent per kilowatt decade

How will she die in this series?

-$6,800. Just -100 away from what your mother and I did last night, Trebek!

The logic behind wanting Dennis Miller to host "The Daily Show" is shakier than Michael J. Fox chugging an Octo-Latte and playing "Jenga" atop the Tacoma Narrows Bridge during an F5 hurricane. That show's ratings would make the Tunguska Explosion look like a Jon Krakauer travelogue set to a Fifth Dimension medley

How did the surviving members of Queen go on tour with Paul Rodgers? I mean, Paul's a decent rock singer and all, but it had to be kind of like going from flying on a private G5 to cramming yourself in the non-reclining bathroom-adjacent row on Spirit returning from the Chili Cook Off

This sets up the Office Space/Pirates of the Caribbean crossover where Lumberg fucks Kiera Knightley

"You loved the female Ghostbusters and the all-new male Ghostbusters and their super-wacky crossover sequel so set your proton packs to hilarity for GHOSTBUSTER BABIES! Coming this February direct-to-masking-tape!"

The analysis never addresses the tragic repeated concussions Brown is forced to endure, also glossing over how he is awoken stripped down, arms and legs akimbo atop the mound.

I get the impression Taylor is like Krusty the Klown — as the curtain drops past her face her eyes go dead, the unfiltered Pall Mall is lit with a fan letter, and she spends her entire night gambling on Russian Roulette games.

Only the man in the tail survived Carrie Fisher's coke-fueled rage strength…until she had him brought to her dressing room later that day

Can this hold on until October to be THE go-to lazy pop culture Halloween costume?

His attorney is going to try to claim a Japanese actor was really in the suit the whole time

I was waiting for the "Oh, by the way, while your kid was dying your Mexican avocado passed its 46-second window between unripe and brown goo." crossover. "Nationwide, go buy some guac"

Saw them at Oddball and on their last tour before that. Just a great show and just the right amount of dicks on the dance floor.

I'm still holding out hope the entire run of "Parenthood" turns out to be just an oxygen-deprivation fantasy in Nate Fisher's head as Brenda Chenoweth chokes him to death during airport-bathroom sex.

Are we sure this is a comedy? The treatment I saw had the girls going up against a character named Elliot "Ghost Dad" Hopper

I'm cool with this only if the choice at the end turns out to be someone thinking of Carrie Bradshaw from "Sex and the City" and we're treated to a 100-foot Sarah Jessica Parker rampaging through Manhattan before eventually being detonated by nuclear fire — footage of which is readily available from NYPD security…

While everyone keeps blathering on about zombies the mummies are quietly preparing to make their move

"So it turned out after all the way to beat Gozer was through the power of FRIENDSHIP" (vomits up own ribcage)