Um…This article was obviously plagiarized from the Culpeper County High School's monthly newspaper "Whuts News".

An excellent career move for any artist. 

Might I remind you; Kid. ( Of "Kid 'n Play" heroism?)

This must be just like living in merchandise.

So it isn't a stereotype to say that black men have bigger paraphernalia? Or; that nigga gonna lay some pipe?

Imma say it straight up yo; this the nigga gonna change the game. He got game, he got flow, he gots da monies, he gots da bitches. Niggas hard, dog. And TOTALLY unique. Ain't never seen no nigga all hard and shit be hustlin nonstop 25-8 with MAD skillz spittin out rhymes like DAMN! SHEEIT! HOLLA! TUPPERWARE! BOX CAKE!

Jersey folk stink like burnt grease and cheap hand lotion.

Shouldn't she be pregnant with some famous black man's crack-baby by now? She did finally finish up at DeVry last semester, and we're all real proud of her.

So why did they post a picture of White Lion?

I first saw Maher's gaping knowledge hole when I ran into him in a bathhouse crapper. He took his knowledge out of his pants right in front of everyone, and damned if there wasn't a big hole right in the middle of it. Then he took out a packet of anhydrous salt (the ones you find in bags of beef jerky or nice hiking…

Once upon a time, Dana Carvey raped an impotent leprechaun with Aspergers. A child was born. This flatulent half-breed ate a bad batch of mussels and took a thunderous and painful shit…something akin to chunks of mud being blown out a fire hose at speeds which broke the sound barrier. This excrement was collected from…

Now he can touch the boobies of all the girls he's not married too. Wise move, you clever Jew.

Science will rock your lame ass.

Gish is phenomenal. It always will be.

I stopped watching Dexter once his parents found his secret lab, and his stoopid seester got knocked up by Mandar, and then they went to see Dr. Mojo Jojo for the abortion….I did not find that appropriate.  Genndy Tartakovsky is a sick fuck.

Dawes AND Budweiser? Could this be the greatest day of our lives? Dawes thinks that Dawes thinks so.

2005 Valedictorian: DeVry Institute.

It's pretty good, but it doesn't hold up against Silvio Berlusconi's new album.

I'd like a dirtyburger as well.

Tyler Perry The Creator done say "Kim Suck Dick Bitch". Yeah.