I know a girl who was with him. She said he farts a lot.

SPA-LOOSH

But….but….you're @avclub-605302b7b2612ace0b5716f3285b7ba0:disqus !

You mean to tell me you tried to construct a lover out of Boar's Head products every week?

What's a Chris Hemsworth?

Ever since that stupid Skinemax newswire yesterday, I keep thinking about how friggin' delectable Joan Severance was. I never wanted to do anything sexual to someone's hips before, and I don't even know how that would work, but damn it…

More objectification please. Also, too wordy. For example:

I'm gonna go with my gut instinct on this and not participate in this corny pun thread.

I'd probably just LOOK AT ANNE HATHAWAY AND JERKOFF!!!!!!!

Step your game up, slowpoke.

I dated a girl named Kittypoopyx. Are you her???

Sybil Danning FTMFW

Ha ha, no one is safe!

How about "staycation"?

D'oh!

Holy fuck. Joan Severance.

What movies do you folks remember stealthily trying to rub one out to?

Ten!

Friend? But I thought you hated yourself!

[GETS A CHUB]