One of those many stupid ads that populate around the internet offered to blow my mind with a picture of what Nancy Kerrigan looks like today, but…if that's her up there I totally believe it. It's incredibly believeable.

Fan: (in that terrible accent) They're losing…they lost.

As I recall, Power Rangers didn't do anything relating to human beings well. Or anything at all really.

You ah, uh, you dig up drawings of dinosaurs?

I don't know how much more sanctimonious I can be!

This is shear stupidity.

I think Louis at the trial is the funniest scene in EITHER movie! So there!

But he didn't live long enough to get into fusion! You're good to go!

The line is wrapping around the building over at "Snake Shack"!

"First I cut off their heads, it won't hurt, cause they're dead, and they're certainly lucky they are….cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot, Tout à l'heure, mon serpant!
Bài bài la!"

It's sure not kosher.

Gross—toast?!

Snakes are one of the rare creatures that DOES give forewarning, as my buddy discovered when he almost stepped on a rattlesnake last summer. He leapt back with his hand over his heart, which may have been hilarious to watch but also possibly saved his life.

Ah yes. The "Hong Kong of the Southwest"

*Blows dust off*
To Grill a Mockingbird

Wait a second, dogs can't talk!

Or Duff Extra Cold?

Beloved as an innovator of the form!?

Serve it in a mug, and it'll warm you like a hug!

I assume they were worried we'd conclude there was something named Johndy MacArthur. Or Jaundy.