It's a good thing they borrowed to costumes from Space Balls then…

I'm working on an alt-account where Hillary still lost, but her stans blame Chaffee's hordes of misbehaving "Lincoln Lads" on Twitter instead of the all-powerful Saradon.

Exec: (takes headphones off) This is repulsive. Why do I care what her dumps were like?

Not to get into the extremely confusing nature of "This is France, so presumably everyone is speaking French so why is Lumiere speaking with a French," but that's what "Belle" means in French.

Guy involved in the world's weirdest tweet.

Huh. I guess I could see that. He's a villain pretty deep on the Spider Man bench, I think, made redundant by the increasingly unfortunately named "The Shocker."

Oh yeah the portrait! I guess he got turned into the Beast as an adult.

"Think of it as an enchanted castle of emotional unavailability!"

We've had this discussion and, thanks to different strains of sexism, a female beast is a bad idea. Everyone would just assume Beau was some kind of goat fucking hick.

The movie doesn't really make it clear what the dick situation is like though.

Depends on whether or not she has you locked in a castle.

Actually, just looked it up—the armoire DOESN'T count, because she doesn't have a name. The entire feminist credentials—and the hopes of the nation's bookish women ages 34 and below—hinge on Ms. Potts asking Belle "would you like some tea?"

I've seen this discussion—Chip doesn't age and he seems to be about 5-7. Is it possible that ONLY the Beast aged, because he was turned into an organic creature, rather than, say, a cup?

Beast in the enchanted castle?
The sheets are worth the hassle…

She's just trying to Cope-nhagen in a bad situation-nhagen.

This movie only passes the Bechel Test if you count that armoire as a woman!

Right. And she rejects the advances of Gaston, who is petulant and controlling.

The message is just really confusing: why does Belle need to learn the lesson of not judging The Beast by his outward appearance? He's the one who judged someone based on their appearance; why should he seduce someone whose name means beauty?

Every generation gets the "Return to Oz" they deserve, and these kids today fucking suck.

They're Jedice.