Say what you will about her, she's a perfect Betty Draper.

He wiped out a civilian wedding just to get into character.

So does his wife try to blow off steam by shooting their neighbor's pigeons with a BB rifle?

Sounds like Robert De Niro also faps whenever he sees Anne Hathaway.

Are you talking to me? Well, hey there, fella!

Yeah, even if the band really were as bad as he says, Doughty is being so whiny and melodramatic about it that it's hard to build up much sympathy for him. To hear him tell it, they were worse the Klan, Dick Cheney, and Jeffrey Dahmer combined.

Um, I still think Flo is hot. Especially that one where she shows up to help that guy in the rain…

Ah, Five Mile Creek. We didn't have cable, but we worked our way through that series thanks to the newfangled "video store" that came to town. That was back when we had to rent the VCR along with the tapes…

The odd thing is, my wife actually prefers that I don't stimulate her clit. I can press her g-spot all day long, but whenever I move my finger up there, she pushes it away. She seems very happy with our sex life (she says she'd do it twice a day if I were up to it), so I suppose that'll be one of our quirks…

Gordon Frohman? The Sausage King of Chicago?

The most entertaining about Calliou is dropping his name in when I sing along to "Caribou" by the Pixies.

And no, Pete just can't get beyond Thunderdome.

That's the nice thing about being married. Half-conscious sex at 2:00 in the morning beats an official "date" any day.

My sister's graduating glass ('94) picked "Into The Great Wide Open" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for their song/slogan. It may have fuck all to do with graduating, but I still think that was a pretty cool choice.

If I had to guess, Don will be ready to fully drop out and embrace his Dick Whitmaness when he hears that Betty is dying. He comes back to take over as Dad and a) they'll live together in modest-but-happy surroundings or b) he'll go back to McCann, eat a massive load of shit for a second chance there, and be stuck in…

Depends. What's the tallest building in Wichita?

"CAROLINE!!! GET IN HERE!!!!"

I played tee-ball for a season when I was eight, and even that sucked. I wasn't any good, none of my other friends played, and the coach was one of those guys who was living out his sports fantasies through a bunch of elementary school kids. When I was older, my parents to told me they wanted me to have the sports…

*walking and talking back over by the grease trap*

BHWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!