No, no, no. The Mr. Simmons is ESPN's Sports Guy. He needs attention b/c he's another ego-centric, Boston-centric, Dave-Barry wannabe.

In praise of the Specials…
"Free Nelson Mandella" is still the best political protect song of all time.

I think Freeman's the better choice. I don't think Mandella sprinkled too many "muthafukkas" in his speeches (although he would have been perfectly justified if he did).

I think the photo is Carla being forced to watch J.D. and her husband make man-love.

My youngest kid rented the Spider Man series—in addition to NPH as Spidey, 90210 uber-douche Ian Zwerling voices Harry Osborn.

That monkey's not dead
He's just sleeping

Is the book a Wonder Year's Fan Fiction
'Cause I could totally see Kevin Arnold going on a bloody spree if his best buddy Paul/Marilyn Manson tried to fool around with Winnie or something.

I hear…
they're sequestered in Memphis working on the script.

Imma let you finish
but Ronald Dahl was the best song illustrator of all time for his work with Tom Lehrer!

At least it wasn't a gardening accident.

They definitely have to be related. The suit is straight from the Uncle Rico wardrobe and he's using nun-chuks. I bet he's pretty good with a bow staff too.

I was hoping
this would be about Napolean's long lost urban relatives

So the Miami Vice theme guy
made movies too? What a talent.

But the 1st robot, has to be a by-the-book veteran, days from retirement, while the 2nd robot is fresh from the factory and plays by its own rules. Hijinx follow.

I understand they found two turntables and a microphone at the scene.

Uh, anyone remember Sly Stallone? Between Rocky and Rambo sequels, he must be close to double digits

I only hope this meets the high standards set by
Cabin Boy

I imagine this being
A bunch of the extras from the "Fight Club" therapy scenes, only with sunburns. Tyler Durden could really clean up there.

You may be right, I may be crazy, but Christie Brinkley, she's always a woman to me. Anyway, you oughta now by now that I'm movin' out to Allentown and I didn't start the fire.

Then I nominate
Mos Def for the Carl Weathers' role.