Diabeetus objects on the grounds that the mountain lion didn't eat Kim.

It better star Doc Hammer as Assange
or Diabeetus is gonna be so silently angry…

Moustache
Diabeetus loves you.

Million Dollar Baby aside, when has Hillary Swank NOT been hilariously miscast?

Ned's Atomic Dustbin
GOD FODDER is one of the best albums of the 90's. Suck it, everyone else.

It's like they cloned Diabeetus' high school years
and changed everything that happened.

ROBERT, Y U KNOW FIND GERVAIS FUNNY?
Are you dead inside or just a colossal ass-bag?

See you at the party, Richter!

ICE to see you!

The star of "Air America" is right: No one should ever have fun doing anything ever.

Wafflicious gets it. Where you at, The Donald?!?

How come Diabeetus doesn't get the call?
Diabeetus is just sittin' by the phone, waitin' like a chump.

Don't hate Diabeetus because he doesn't give a shit.

Pro'lly shake when he laugh like a bowl full'a jelly, bitch.

It's Gucci time.
Ain't no need to cut them lights on.

Don't you get it?
The children are our future.

Remember when Mike Tyson fought "Bonecrusher" Smith and won?

Diabeetus will second that. Does anyone else establish mood better than Eisner? The entire run of the Spirit says no.

Actually, @3rd prize, we were looking for "RETARDED SISTER". That's "RETARDED SISTER", everyone.

James Franco is the beginning and the end
Doubt it at your peril, nay-sayers.