Step over here; have a seat.

Plus it's cold in January.

Diabeetus already wants to punch those goddamn uppity outdoor gnomes in the face.
Those little fuckers are always leavin' their shit in the yard for Diabeetus to run over with the lawn mower, amirite?

A QUOTE FROM WEBCRAWLER.COM:

WHO IS THIS "AMERICAN IDOL"?
AND WHERE MIGHT DIABEETUS GO TO WORSHIP HIM/HER/IT? DOES HIM/HER/IT HAVE A INTERWEBS PAGE, POSSIBLY ON THE GEOCITIES?

Damn, what's a pussy gotta do to git an A up in this bitch?
For reals.

Clearly you've never heard him shout "Nyet!" at a cowering underling.

Do YOU sleep in a racecar?

[HIGH FIVES SELF. LAMENTS PERSONAL FAILINGS AT INTERNET THREAD MANAGEMENT. DRINKS 5th MOUNTAIN DEW OF THE DAY. SOBS QUIETLY. PICKS NOSE. FINDS CHEETO FROM LAST TUESDAY.]

Yer tail light is busted, boy.

Excellent point. Diabeetus stands corrected.

Keep it in your pants, Tommy Wiseau
There's just no way this can add to the cultural discussion in any sort of positive manner.

Diabeetus shall own this, posthaste!
Also, Hugh Laurie is just the best misanthrope on the TV.

Diabeetus would like to discuss a troubling trend in men's 3-piece suits.
Specifically, said suits no longer disguise Diabeetus' rotundity.

Justin Bieber is actually a 26-year-old woman named Janice Biederman
True story!

BRING BACK SPEED BUGGY STARRING BRUCE CAMPBELL

Diabeetus is shocked. Yes, shocked!
A game show contestant that did not win is UPSET about losing? Scandal!!!

Also "Sylvia Plath - interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college girl mentality."

"You, you, you're like New York, Jewish, left-wing, liberal, intellectual, Central Park West, Brandeis University, the socialist summer camps and the, the father with the Ben Shahn drawings, right, and the really, y'know, strike-oriented kind of, red diaper, stop me before I make a complete imbecile of myself. "

Hawt.
Diabeetus is into stuff.