Diabeetus always liked "Motorist"
In other unimportant revelations about Diabeetus, he also wears pants.

Diabeetus has heard rumors about this "Long" Island.
To the Expedition Mobile!

"When he found the pictures, I told him it was his twin sister who died."
Diabeetus finds dead baby humor HYSTERICAL.

Reap what Diabeetus has sown.

Diabeetus is looking for "Fuck"
He finds it to be tolerable.

Diabeetus decries the omission of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"
As it encompasses everything that was both good and bad about psychedelic rock in it's original 17:11 run-time, it's absence here is embarrassing and appalling. No, Diabeetus is not affiliated with Iron Butterfly (except in his dreams).

You misunderstand Diabeetus. Barker is adored despite the constant dick-dipping, thus Letterman should continue to be adored as well.

Letterman is still funny, says Diabeetus.
Bob Barker is no less-adored after fucking the bejeezus out of Diana Parkinson and all the rest on the Price Is Right. Why should Letterman be any different? Also, blackmail is late-night comedy GOLD.

Diabeetus will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
Wimpy and Diabeetus rolled together back in the day.

Diabeetus called me Daisy
Called me Daisy
called me Daisy
called me Daisy
that one
Called me Daisy

Diabeetus has a tattoo of Le Chat Noir in an undisclosed location.
Mock that, Gillette. Go ahead. Diabeetus doesn't mind.

In about 14 mintues, Diabeetus will take a shit.
It will garner more positive attention than this movie.

Diabeetus has kids.
And he would murder a motherfucker before subjecting his kids to a heinous upbringing like this.

Diabeetus had a thought about the House/13 kitchen scene.
It reminded Diabeetus of the scene in the Matrix when Neo visited the Oracle.

Diabeetus enjoys the work of that finest of actors, Wilford Brimley
As if that wasn't obvious.

Ethan Frome & Diabeetus

Diabeetus II: Lucifuge
Best fucking sequel ever, so says Diabeetus.

Diabeetus 'n' Friends Good Time Dance-ilicious Party Factory
Patent Pending, bitches.

Diabeetus danced to Achy Breaky Heart in 92
and lived to tell about it. Everyone else died, but Diabeetus is still here dammit.

Diabeetus will kick incest in the nuts.
Believe it, internet hordes.