Diabeetus wouldn't let 'em into our house.
That's for sure.

Silver Surfer is a surfer right?
Dude, where's my galactic transportation?

"…yet we remain, as always, cautiously optimistic."
No you don't.

Thank you! Goodnight, folks!

We also would have accepted "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind. Yes, it's an anti-killin'-yo'self song but it's so soul-crushingly awful, we assume it'd send anyone even remotely suicidal over the edge.

What, no Mazzy Star?
"Fade into You" is the soundtrack to all fake suicides in my head.

Ads during shows.
If Diabeetus had his way, those ads would all feature him beating the shit out of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

That's funny like canceraidsfire is lethal.

I have a TON of cereal, have not been relevant since 1997 and own a statue of Superman but I'm not Nic Cage.

If anyone's interested,
I have a basket-0-leavin's for sale on Craigslist. Serious inquiries only, please.

Yum-O! The Children's Charity???
Does she cook the children? What's happening here?

"It's just been placed on a huge table with no consideration of whether it adds up to a meal."
The same could be said of Four Rooms but I still wanted to stab Tim Roth in the face.

So listening to Paul Simon's "Graceland" isn't the same thing?
I am SHOCKED.

I call "Jar-Jar"
And by "Jar-Jar", I mean that this movie will deplete the earth's people of their will to live. It will also suck.

Stupid hippies.
Ruining everything for everyone all the time. Smellin' like patchouli and…and…INCENSE…and…middle class.

(affects a Brett Favre accent)

Where all da white women at?
Badges?
We don't need no stinking badges!

One can only hope it's replaced by that delightful Carlos Mencia
Really. He's SO funny.

Mr. Skin - An American Classic
Diabeetus love dem titties!!!

I called her every night?
Every damn night?
On the telephone?
…
Man, what's this boy talkin' bout, "on the telephone"?
Explain it to him!