Is MJ in this video?
Oh Blair Underwood. You and Don King should really have had your own sitcom…

For $700, they should pleasure Diabeetus sexually. And look good with Dockers.

I think they'll Nair each other's assholes and spank it to porn on his iPhone.
They will also "act".

Oh, stop it. Diabeetus had enough the FIRST time around.

Keith Phipps & Camelot Records
Keith, I would like to thank you for reminding me of all the hours of my middle school and high school life spent at the local Camelot Music. If I may be so crass, it was "Bad".

And yet, somehow, the world continues to turn…
but Billie Jean is not my lover.

I love you, PR guy.
Please continue to populate the internet with your tripe.

God Fodder is a fucking great album. I think it could be argued that it is one of the greatest forgotten records of the 90's. Are You Normal? is stellar and even BrainBloodVolume has it's moments, particularly the opener "All I Ask of Myself Is That I Hold Together".
Diabeetus will go on record and say that God…

Does this mean the Oscars will, at long last, be as gay as the Tony's?
Because if that's the case, Diabeetus has mixed feelings…

John Cena
Unless this somehow means that John Cena's stellar cinematic career will finally receive the recognition it so richly deserves, I DON'T CARE.

I really, really enjoy the smiling dude by the microwave.
Any chance that fella can get his own video where he just stands around smiling while thumping house music blares in the background? Jebus, he's like a character from Tim & Eric. A+, background-lurker!

Freakin' Dinosaur Jr
This is the best goddamn album Diabeetus has heard in a fortnight. Bands today could learn a thing or two from these big galoots.

Diabeetus SMASH!!!!
JesusChristMonkeyBalls. That is all.

The production quality on their albums is all over the place. I hear some people complain about that. Back east.

Fuckin' A-right Warbringer
"At the Crack of Doom" is one of my favorite tracks from 2008. It reminds me of Bolt Thrower and I mean that in the best possible way.

Don't care, seein' it anyway.
Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis get lifetime passes from me.

Oh man, you sure showed me, anonymous message board hipster.

I hate people so much.
Funemployment = Douche-tastic

Got more stories than J.D. got Salinger
I hold the title and you are the challenger.

Today's Special
One thing that really pissed me off about this show when I was a kid: if the hat fell off his head, he was frozen. However, I am almost positive that on more than one occasion he would take the hat off his head and bow low for some reason and, BAM!, no freezing. Stupid continuity errors.