That's what you tell the Youtube creep while you're kicking him in the kidneys, right?

God, can you imagine having to read about it ALL THE TIME? That would be literally the worst thing ever.

Oh man, I forgot people actually said this with any shred of sincerity. The image boards must be leaking again.

We'll start a GoFundMe for your therapy.

Can't they be happy to see each other because they're decent folk and because they desperately want to fart?

A NICE GUY who was THERE FOR HER the whole time she was dating THAT LOSER CHAD, who was SO WRONG FOR HER, who liked to call PERFECTLY NICE GUYS "TOTAL CREEPS".

You can hear the heavy breathing and everything.

Abso-goddamned-lutely, just like there's a link between being raised with fundie views about sex and vaginismus. Which, in a further fit of hilarious ignorance, isn't a word according to the nerds behind Firefox.

Remember the 80s?

I can assure you this gripe scales to the full length of the book. It's like you're at a party where Austen's trying to tell you a story, only there's a guy right next to her shouting "GUTS! ZOMBIES! TIDDIES!" constantly.

I'm, like, a total zombie for bacon.

At least two are an essential part of basic programming, and arguably the more important ones. And also the ones I can see Seth MacFarlane ignoring.

The weirdest part of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (the book) was how gratuitously sexed up it was. It starts at the ball, where one gentleman remarks to another that the Bennet sisters' fighting skills must surely equal good fucking skills, and just keeps popping up in the weirdest places. One chapter literally…

I can't believe a betrayal of that magnitude only gets a mildly scathing C+.

Just don't call him late to dinner! Eh? Eh?

It's two shitty things coming together to form a really shitty thing! Unless you ask some of the… guests in this thread, who will tell you one thing doesn't exist and boggle at you when you suggest the fucked-up-ness of the other should also be fixed. There's not as much in the phrasebook about that.

This is some amateur hour bad timing. You could have had riots in the streets if you'd announced it within a week of Bowie's death, but now you gotta settle for a bunch of "fucking really?"s, Jim Henson Company.

I found out Aquarius existed literally two minutes ago (three if I don't pick up the pace), and every comment referencing it has been a delight.

booneyvince1 never made it to the moon! It was all shot on a soundstage in Idaho! Don't believe the lies!

You mean like the gaping hole this comment plopped out of?