I never liked that "what if he were in a band" speculation. It's like saying, "Here's something interesting. I wonder what it would be like if it were boring instead?"

The Kills first album owns, to borrow a phrase from ZMF. Second album is a step down, but has that one moment of perfection, "Standing At the Back of the Shell" - anybody who tells you you need a lot of time in the studio to make a great song needs to listen to that one. One guitar string and handclaps.

That's not entirely true. The other side of his face was supposed to be played by The Side Of Katie Holmes' Face That Is Unable To Smile, but once she went crazy, the role was recast.

I believe Joachim Phoenix has been prepping for the role of Captain Caveman for some time now.

Mattingly! Get rid of those sideburns!

Sinatra's still alive? You just opened my eyes, man!

NERRRRRRRRRDS!!!!!

See, I thought Ras al Ghul was the worst thing in Batman Begins. Neeson just spits out the same "If you do not master your rage, your rage will become your master" nonsense he did in The Abomination Of Which We Must Not Speak - it's essentially the same role, and only slightly more well-written.

As I understand it, they put the show on hiatus while the divorce gets worked out - it may or may not come back. And I'm not sure you can blame the cameras for the divorce - I know more than one couple that split up after having twins. I can't imagine the stress of sextuplets - and at least that stress was eased a…

I would imagine the soul-crushing experience of working at Wal-Mart has an impact on your looks. Whereas being a movie star with a retinue of personal assistants bathing you in fragrant oils probably has the opposite impact.

When I'm up at 3am feeding the baby, Jon & Kate are always on, so it's reassuring to turn on that show and think, "thank God that's not me!"

Yeah, that's exactly what liberals think. You totally read our minds, Jim!

The Daily Show used to do a brilliant bit, "segments from Hannity & Colmes read by 8-year-olds." I could watch that all day long.

Ding ding ding! Arsenio wins.

"That'll teach them to have different opinions than the rest of us! "

> kids are dumb and generally do what they're told

her?

I'm with you, except sub in Quick Change for Ghostbusters 2.

Generally, you don't get that kind of behavior from a major appliance.

Yeah, Arrested Development was nearly called "Welcome, Matt" (Michael's character would have been named Matt). I never would have watched it with that name. Granted, I am watching Better Off Ted, but I feel like if it had a better name, I'd watch the shit out of it.