Second City tried that to get rid of the ghost of Tina Fey, and look how that turned out.

It's more accurate than my Wall Street stock adviser.

It's not fake. She told me if I kept playing with it I'd go blind, and here I am.

At least Obama killed their funding for busting pot dispensaries.

It's nature's dental floss.

Also running from the fuzz.

You only rent beer calories.

That's because it will just kill you!

Good, medicinal pot doesn't really have that effect. You get it "legally," so that mitigates the paranoia. And depending on the particular strain you select, the initial two-cups-of-coffee feeling usually settles down to a nice body high of warmth and tingling that comes and goes in diminishing waves over several…

Sounds like he has psychological issues.

My mistake was eating a highly-doped Rice Krispie treat just before bed. The effect crept up while I was half-asleep, and I lost the ability to tell if my bowels were holding. Not wanting to piss the bed, I had to crawl to the bathroom, which was a challenge in itself.

Time is a fat circle.

That's how you pronounce it in British.

That's where cottage cheese comes from.

Bleh.

This is really how Skynet became self-aware.

It's the best country we could come up with by combining all the people who had the sense and ambition to get the fuck out of all those shithole foreign countries.

My name is Shake Zula the mike booma the old schoolah you wanna trip, I'll bring it to yah.

Hey. Hey. Okay.

Everything is on TV again all the time. It's a TV singularity.