Mrs. Simpson, your daughter Lisa is in dire need of orthodontic correction.

"Sting" is not a group.

I had a premonition that Mr. C.K. died of a heart attack.  Premonitions are odd.  Sometimes they happen, most of the time not.

It's just one more piglet you have to attach to your own personal corporate teat.  Yeah, garage bands don't need managers and agents and record company deals, but sometimes getting wasted and making loud noise on stage is a full-time gig.

Just film them, get their releases, edit it down to just the funny/dramatic parts, and sell it.  Call it something related to being in a bar with funny characters, like, "Bottom's Up!" or something like that.

Does he believe practically no one stole it?  Oh, Mr. C.K., never lose your childlike innocence.

I've tried Netflix, but like ordinary television, it has far too much of what I don't want in the first place.  And keeps insisting that I should watch every episode of Dr. Who still in existence.

My goodness television is awful.

Heh.  I was imagining an abortion truck like an ice cream truck, cruising through neighborhoods in the evening, its little bells tinkling "Ode to Billy Joe."

Oh, my god.  Is that my college-aged niece?

Are you sure that wasn't City Hall?

It's loaded with Vitamin B complex and jism.

Call more ladies.

That's why I always jump up and yell, "NO, YOU LISTEN UP… DAD!"

What did they do with all those V-Chip taxes I paid?

I like the ones where there is a man and woman talking about something — butter, let's say — and he is making jokes and she is doing that kind of continuously half-stifled laughing/talking thing.  I can't get enough of that.

And Jodie Foster is a lesbian. 

They're not illegal until somebody passes a law.

"Better" is such a subjective term.  Most strip clubs are now ranked according to available breast size in terms of both volume and weight.  There was a strip club down by the tracks that used to advertise the "biggest nipples," but they failed pretty quick.

You gotta buy your insurance somewhere.  Might as well buy it from the loudest advertiser on TV.