Please edit your post so as to rewrite Jessica Lange's monologue phonetically.

"Please describe an encounter with a squirrel."

"Please describe an encounter with a squirrel."

She said, "The monsignor thinks I've lost my mind." Tio isn't Catholic, he's super Jewish — he said something in Hebrew (I'm guessing "rest in peace," since it seemed to end in "shalom") after mentioning his father.

She said, "The monsignor thinks I've lost my mind." Tio isn't Catholic, he's super Jewish — he said something in Hebrew (I'm guessing "rest in peace," since it seemed to end in "shalom") after mentioning his father.

I thought Grace got raped by the aliens. Because that's what this show does. And it'd be pointless, plot-wise, to sterilize her if she got alien-raped (and impregnated; only human-on-human rapes qualify as legitimate, sorry).

I thought Grace got raped by the aliens. Because that's what this show does. And it'd be pointless, plot-wise, to sterilize her if she got alien-raped (and impregnated; only human-on-human rapes qualify as legitimate, sorry).

I thought it was kinda tacky at first, but I'll admit, it paid off brilliantly at the end.

I thought it was kinda tacky at first, but I'll admit, it paid off brilliantly at the end.

And it was awesome. I'm now pretty sure that Sister Jude is just Malory Archer, undercover.

And it was awesome. I'm now pretty sure that Sister Jude is just Malory Archer, undercover.

The cold open started like something out of Breaking Bad. It was amazing. Then they started in with the clumsily shoehorned-in lecture on Operation Paperclip, and the spell was over.

The cold open started like something out of Breaking Bad. It was amazing. Then they started in with the clumsily shoehorned-in lecture on Operation Paperclip, and the spell was over.

@avclub-fec1b8d3fbc08f27a84e5a334d45bb5a:disqus Temple of Artemis! One of the Seven Wonders of the World. And yeah, we have near-contemporary records recording his name, so obviously the whole "let's not let him win this one by getting his name in the history books, guys" thing didn't last that long.

@avclub-fec1b8d3fbc08f27a84e5a334d45bb5a:disqus Temple of Artemis! One of the Seven Wonders of the World. And yeah, we have near-contemporary records recording his name, so obviously the whole "let's not let him win this one by getting his name in the history books, guys" thing didn't last that long.

It was Herostratus. Didn't really work that well, obviously.

It was Herostratus. Didn't really work that well, obviously.

The only problem with that is that it fails to fully convey how awesome the picture is.

The only problem with that is that it fails to fully convey how awesome the picture is.

Well, you know, I heard the jury's still out on… science.