I believe that is the justification Judge John Hodgman uses for his precedent-setting verdict.

Goddamn federal regulations! That's why we elected Trump, so we don't have to buckle our seatbelt and just dump our bags in the aisle!

This is the exact argument used to vilify any superstar athlete who gets a huge contract. Everyone rushes to excoriate the millionaire talent, and for some reason the billionaire owner becomes the sympathetic one.

Incoming: a "think"piece about how this sets a dangerous precedent for male movie stars undervaluing themselves and throwing the free market out of whack. Neoclassical economics (that coincidentally favor the rich white upper class) must prevail!

Is there a reason why JAY-Z is in all-caps, rather than the accepted Jay-Z spelling? It's also that way in a Newswire article. Is this a recent edict issued by him, like how Puff Daddy requested everyone call him P. Diddy, then just Diddy?

I've never actually watched it. Did they keep the original theme song or at least have a remix rasta-fied version of it?

In Seattle, there is this place called Ezell's that is legendary. It's right next to Garfield High School, which was famous for having Quincy Jones and Jimi Hendrix as alumni and now is famous for producing lots of good basketball players. Oprah allegedly special orders shipments of their chicken to be flown out to…

Was everyone on the staff a Kennedy? This must be where all the ones who didn't go into politics ended up.

Yeah, how is Safeway's fried chicken not on here? $5.99 for 8 pieces on Fridays, that's enough for 1.5-2 meals.

Which is ironic because written sports analysis from statistically-inclined bloggers has never been better. It really mirrors the political discourse, in that there's one set of fans who prefer fake outrage over non-issues and another set who love graphs and tables.

I often watch it in the gym with the sound off (I'm listening to my own iPod instead) and it looks like 4 unhinged people who got stuck in the Brady Bunch grid. Oh, and sometimes Bomani Jones, who is the least awful of them, but he willingly lowers his dignity to be on there, so I kinda don't feel sorry for him.

TIL Japanese wikipedia is a lot more lax about what they allow. Like, you can just write a section on favorite foods of a noted figure.

Who knew the Mongols were such pedants?

I can't remember anything unless there is a spiffy data visualization.

You mean she should go play minor league baseball for a couple of years?

Nightshade is eggplant (or aubergine) and tomato. As per the terms of his contract with Satan, Tom Brady does not partake of it.

No! No original content! Must grow shared cinematic universe, feed China!

Luke Walton was wearing a Popovich/Kerr 2020 about 3 weeks back. God bless all 3 of those guys, plus Bill Walton, you dirty old hippie. Keeping it emoji 100.

It's kinda funny that he could never get whoever is squatting on "@ DonaldTrump" to give up that handle. God bless you, brave hero who won't accept a few thousand dollars (I'm assuming the Donald is a cheapskate who won't offer more than that, even though the value of that handle is millions of dollars).

Python is the correct language for a "comedy" website.