"Here we have the new Samsung Galaxy 8."
"Uh, I think that's your ass."
"What? No, see, the screen curves—"
"No, that's definitely your ass, please stop thrusting it at me."

To be honest, Johnnie Walker Black is perfectly fine and inexpensive. I like it better than some of the highfalutin single malts.

Whoa, whoa, don't diss the Offspring. Ya gotta keep 'em separated from the other stuff you mentioned.

Broads with back pieces.

You mean Don McLean was a poseur when he sang about "whiskey and rye"?

I think Stefan was Jaleel White demanding to change his image so that he didn't get mercilessly made fun of all the time on the street. Sorry, you'll always be Urkel.

Small hands!

Now that's a number I've not heard in a long time.

Jian Yang, you magnificent bastard, you've done it again.

Yeah, I went to an LA Fitness, and I thought this situation was exactly what that sign was supposed to prevent.

It's true! Is funny major. Lubchenko learn nothing! Nothing!

If Kodos is code for "Jill Stein", I'm still blaming you.

I was kinda expecting him to say that the victims deserved it because most of them ate meat, so yeah, this was an improvement too.

/sends Eggborne ads for "schoolmarm glasses", "red pens", "AP Stylebook", "frumpy shapeless long dresses suitable for old maids"

That's why I always pick the "non-collated" option when I'm makin' co-pies! Separatin' pages into piles and stapling them together!

Seriously, this article is basically the lefty equivalent of "scienticians are egghead pricks who are paid by Big Weather to pretend global warming is real!" Shame on AV Club, especially when their half their articles are sponsored content and clickbait food/political stuff, which undoubtedly came from analytics about…

I don't know where this guy lives, but he clearly hasn't been to my local coffee shop. Loads of white nationalists.

I got someone who was on SNL. :D
It was Janet Reno. :(

Plus, rapping is just talking over music!

The headline feels a little clickbaity. I was expecting that he punched someone in the face because they dared ask him about a season 3.