Anyone think her sentence was stiffer because her name is "Mariza Reulas"? Meanwhile, John Smith over there is selling sashimi by the pound.

Chock full of vitamin R!

Maybe some Trumpsters are just more into his "Nebraska" period.

What was their stance on the gold standard?

"I dunno, bunch of guys hanging around in the woods, seems kinda gay."
"Young man, that is a very immature attitude."

My friend from Denmark said that they call Hoegaarden "women's beer". But that might be because they're tired of being mixed up with the Dutch.

You greatly overestimate the number of people who would fight to the bitter end. IIRC, the Germans developed the A-bomb first and used it on Washington. In this fictional world, it seems like a lot of people (including Rufus Sewell's character) switched sides when it was convenient.

I kinda wish those two newly-elected Hong Kong legislators hadn't turned their oath-taking session into a grandstanding way to sneakily say "Fuck China," even though it was awesome. But it did bring a lot of publicity to the issue (also, the girl legislator is a total cutie). I bet they didn't think China would…

I thought China and Russia were the place to go for illegal live streams of sports games and concerts.

If that's the kind of jokes he is trotting out now, I'm not buying.

Have you seen those robots that look like dogs with a camera for a head and a tray for the body? They look so fucking creepy.

Dave Chappelle takes off his mask to reveal that he is actually a KKK member.

Since I've been an adult, I've almost always gotten the Big Mac meal. Occasionally I get the Chicken McNuggets, but they changed them from the breaded scraps/organ meat from when I was a child to "white meat". Don't they know that it's cool to eat gizzards and intestines now? McGastropub!

That place is awesome. I go there just for their sauces. They have a house ketchup that is a little spicy, and "fry sauce" which is sort of a 1000 Island.

I thought shit was one of their core items.

Baskets are too nice for deplorable people, it really should be buckets.

Also, their best player and the unanimous MVP was still recovering from a groin strain, but I suppose that's just a minor detail.

Bill Murray: If anyone of you needs a favor, just look to the Happiest Man on Earth.
Super Smiley Man: No, no, not me, friends, he's talking about himself! But thanks for looking!

Where are the racist caricature aliens and unnecessary CG shots? This is not my Star Wars.

See, the owners could just change it, like how the Washington Bullets became the Wizards. People would grumble for a while, but then everyone would just accept it as the new normal.