Horrible job, Internet!

I guess we should be grateful they didn't do it as a fucking slideshow article?

Kellyanne, don't you have better things to do with your time?

Welp, too late for me. I'll make up for the calories by drinking my feelings later.

I gather that there was once upon a time a person named Keynes, who did/thought/said something of note. That's my understanding, at least.

I would be astonished if he could even draw a pump of any kind to explain the phrase.

I think you spelled "BMW salesman" wrong but yeah.

Same with me and Rolling Rock, with the obvious exception that it DOES taste bad.

What do you mean "Vienna" is surprisingly popular? Haven't you people ever seen "13 Going on 30?"

Falafel? There's no terrorist food in the No Spin Zone.

Yeah, fuck those guys! Wait…is United the one with the Biscoff cookies? I guess I can let bygones* be bygones.

Or maybe he could have worn a smoking jacket, since that's probably still allowed on planes in your imaginary wonderland.

I could have done without that visual.

Oh good, the "I like comedy except when it relates to me" people are here.

That doesn't make any of them funny.

Same. I don't know what it is, maybe I'm just really good at eating stuff?

Plus that giant mole situation on his face. I don't care what race you are, face moles are a fucking distraction.

And keep that set of rules in a safe place. Perhaps the same place where we keep the list?

I think this is an accurate characterization.

Let's not blame the weed, now.