Yeah, a bunch of people on my dorm last year love Dane Cook and kept bothering me about how I should like him. They showed me his "hilarious" bit about atheists to convince me he's funny. They eventually concluded I was jealous of his success.

I dunno man
Wikipedia user Chris Webby may be a better rapper than this guy.

Cheesecake Factory: Do you like bland food? No? Well, what if we gave you LOTS of it?

yeah don't watch this show but I just wanted to see if anyone here raised the walls so they will be the one to knock them down

Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know that I really love the band Field Trip, and that you should go pick up their new CD "Ripe" when it hits stores in 1991.

"Limited release"
I'd be pretty pissed if I were an actor in this film.

Bryan Cranston was actually the "Think fast, Malkovich!" guy.

I'm glad you're writing up homicide, Phil
But these articles tend to be really, really poorly copyedited. Grammar and spelling had been all over the place for the past few weeks. I enjoy the articles, though.

"This is Carl Castle. You're trying to reach Betty and Michael, but they're not here right now… I've broken into their house. Please do not call the police."

I watch Jimmy every night on Win Ben Stein's Money.

Yeah, I grew up in a UNC household [I'm a vinegar man through and through.] We ignored football but watched basketball religiously. Amusingly, I now go to Maryland, the annoying whiny sibling in the UNC-Duke rivalry.

Do you root for vinegar, mustard, or ketchup-based sauces in the NCAA tournament?

Man, I thought Christopher Walken had that record. You mean they don't like it when he comes in and very, very obviously reads off cue cards?

Appropriately for "Das Racist," Wikipedia looks like it was vandalized to about a week ago to say that one of Nim's signs was "White man devil Nim," a remarkably cogent racial thought for a chimpanzee.

Hey, guys, look at Fonzie over there! We're not worthy, Fonzie! We're not worthy!

Hey, the best part of karaoke is the bizarre unrelated k-pop videos that play alongside every song.

What, no love for Whitman? I saw him eying the grocery boy!

Dear AV Club,

Weird Little Bloke
He looks like a fisher price man!

I caught the end of this movie on Comedy Central while doing dishes. I tried in vain to figure out what was going on ["Carl Weathers talking about sasquatch? A kid fighting a huge guy with fake swords? Justin Long as a redneck talking about comic books?"]