Ah GUAR-AHN-TEE!!

A B- for a 1D album? What is this, amateur hour?

GIMME YOUR LUNCH MONEY

Louis CK still gets good mileage from material about his family, but only because I don't think he's capable of seeing the positive side in anything.

I didn't realize it was cool to hate Patton Oswalt now :( first I find out about SeinfeldToday, now PO, apparently I'm well on my way to being officially BEHIND THE CURVE. Fuck everything!

"Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise."

That was my take too… really, I think it's that she is such a part of their little group's mindset that she knows exactly how George is going to react to this, ie that he knows he should feel bad about her death but is actually elated, and so she knows "I'm sorry" is not really the correct thing to say, but doesn't…

You've GOT to check out the commentary tracks for those episodes with Jerry and Larry. Larry David's thought process for how to end this relationship essentially developed exactly how it played out in the show - he wasn't sure what to do so there was lots of stalling, and then, BOOM, darkest thing possible.

It is? That sucks, I like that twitter feed :( god damn it I knew it, I'm a fucking idiot.

SERENITY NOW!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watc…

It's called "shleeping"

"Hey ladies, wanna see the birthplace of the reptilian conspiracy theory? It's my penis"

I'm intrigued by your idea of having no way of knowing how much people are getting. In school, they taught us that the maximum allowable concentrations of chemicals in tap water are based on someone drinking an average volume of tap water every day for 30 years. I guess someone who chugs a lot might be at increased…

Flouride is a chemical compound. It could be isolated from dogshit, as long as it's chemically pure at the end it doesn't matter where it came from.

WE KNEW TOO MUCH

I've always wondered what he has been up to since the 80s.

She does smell pretty bad on the outside…

So it was porn?

It's funny that I've never met a single person who has had a positive experience being in time square on new years, or a single person who seems to have any desire to be at time square for new years, and yet so many people have done it and it continues to be insanely well-attended. I don't get what is happening…