God, I hope this is awesome performance art and not just awesome nonsense.

You know, when I started this article, I was grumbling to myself that it was all gonna be old Hanna Barbera cartoons and nothing about STUFF THAT IS AWESOME like Today's Special and the Polka Dot Door. But hey! Halfway there, and at least Polka Dot Door gets love in the comments.

Down in the Lesser Midwest, we had Lee's Tire Company, whose jingle, yes, gets stuck in my head sometimes. "Leeee's Tire Company's round for you! (Woo-hoo!)"

Ah, but how far from the Iowa border?

anne rice, in the pre-jesus days
The problem with Cruise's performance in Interview isn't that it makes Lestat too sympathetic. It's that it makes Brad Pitt look like a dead log.

Yeah, fuck people for liking romantic fantasies about people they identify with discovering love and sex with someone hotter than them. Where the hell do they get off?

I think it does work, if not on that literal level. The more ubiquitous something like a restaurant chain or a food brand is — the more people see its name everywhere they look — the more they just automatically assume that it's a normal, even inevitable, fixture of modern day life, and buying from those people seems…

And yet, they could legally marry, because apparently that's great for society, while if my gf and I do it, we might as well be setting the Statue of Liberty on fire. I mean, not an original observation, but never not hilarious as far as I'm concerned.

"inadvertently"
How awesome is it that Nathan robbed the French at a candy expo?

essssskimo
I guess the most ancient, wizened piece of pop culture that I still quote regularly is Heathers, which was the BEST MOVIE IN THE UNIVERSE when I was in junior high. "But her SOUL was in ANTARCTICA" is good for mocking the emo kids, "I love my dead gay son!" is just a little too easy to be rewarding, but…

I dunno that it would be "exponential." Hell, I highly doubt the number of gay marriages that would take place if it were nationally legalized tomorrow would outpace this year's roster of straight divorces. This may be bad news for the wedding industry, but it's good news for Michael Steele's poor endangered small…

Somehow, you two have neatly summarized a cultural dichotomy for the ages. There's something kinda beautiful in its purity here.

The most horrifying alcohol-related experience of my life involved fucking vodka purchased in a big plastic jug at Wal-Mart. One friend ended up declaring himself Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds, and another curled up on the couch crying and begging us to kill him because he was a monster. I didn't even drink the shit,…

I also highly recommend telling your ladyfriend that her tastes are beneath you. I think that'll work out great for everyone involved.

Why do Christians, who number between (depending on the study) 75 to 80 percent of the American population, go on and fucking on like they're some amazingly distinct minority group? You'd have to work your *ass* off in this country not to have at least one Christian friend.

Ah, now your previous comments make more sense. Because you're kind of mental about your favorite AI contestant, you're making other people's perfectly reasonable preferences for one over the other sound equally pathological.

Allison
I guess I don't understand Claire's comment. If Allison didn't look like she really did think she could win, how is it "false modesty" to fob off the "Do you think you can win?" question. Seems like that wouldn't be modesty at all — more like not wanting to shoot yourself directly in the foot by saying,…

god would like us to be joyful even while our hearts lie panting on the floor
I've got a new one. Fiddler On the Roof. I start crying somewhere over "Matchmaker" and pretty much keep going in fits and starts for the next two and a half hours.

Is chickens — is pigs — is time!

I know what you mean, Claire. I vividly remember seeing the Lion King with my dad and watching him cry. Now I think that's more what I'm crying about when I re-watch it, or at least it adds a new dimension, since I'm sort of vicariously thinking about it from the perspective of both a parent and a kid.