It can't be horrible. It just can't. I won't allow it.

I guess
That's just how they roll in the Cone-zone.

This is the next level of irony. Covering covers of Journey songs. Mocking the mocking if you will.

Whoever you are, you amuse me.

I have the Droid. It's a badass machine. My fiancee has the far girlier Droid Eris and that still kicks the iPhone's ass.

I don't have
even one relevant thing to say about this.

And of course, you can prick your finger but dooooooon't finger your prick.

Everybody come and see! Arsenio has been crushed by the mighty snark lord.

Surely you mean "tsop."

Hay look. Another horse pun.

New Nabisco Tits!

You're right, Billy. I got what I came for. It was the most validating thing to happen in this miserable hell-hole of an office all day though. So there's that.

Firstie
Take two

Creative snarky anti-firsting like that will only encourage people like me Billy.

alas, even my super quick and lazy first attempt was thwarted. So it goes.

First
bitches

"And people who talk at the theater."

AEROSMITH ALREADY WORKS AROUND THE COCK-ROCK!

Hotter
than fox?

"Yes honey, that's very true. Sometimes dogs are brown."