(instantly sprouts erection)

"Also, every time there's a big trial being showcased in the news media, I always have "He's Guilty" ready to go when the verdict is read, to post it on Facebook as "actual footage from the courtroom.""

Man, if Jake Gyllenhaal is destined to die alone, what chance do I have of finding someone at 40?

Admiral Patrick!

And he drinks it hot! What, like he's too good for an ice-cold brewski!

Well of course Leela would let herself be seduced by Shatner. She fell for Zapp; why not try the real thing?

In fact, forget the friends!

It's because the space bees were emotionally unavailable, and passive-aggressive towards their families

Were they on the ship in space when Hermes said that? Then it might not have set off "Star Trek" alarms. If they were at Planet Express HQ on Earth, that would be different. I really should know this one…

That's Brian Robbins' Head of the Class co-star Dan Schneider, who created a bunch of tween shows for Nick. Weird that Head of the Class turned out to be such a breeding ground for TV show producers of kids shows. It's like how the New Mouseketeers spawned the Britney/Christina/Justin/Ryan entertainment juggernaut…

It's because he's new to it.

"YOU'RE SIMPLY THE BEST" would also work.

Well, at least this criminal has some civic pride.

I interpreted the joke as: Ned normally thinks he shouldn't like the carnal aspects of sex, but of course deep down he does, like anyone else. The sarcastic "Yeah, that'll be the day" is that deep-seated lust bubbling to the surface, and assuming that Maude would never go for it. The great thing is, Maude may be in…

One other thing I love about that scene: you can tell how much Sisko admires Bashir's integrity; he just doesn't have time for that s*** right now.

"Yes, sir. But I'd like that order in writing. Sir."

I'd click on that link, but I'm afraid I'll get syphilis.

One of the most beautiful, sexiest women I've ever met is an avid gamer who's even competed for money playing CoD, and also has a lightsaber tattoo on her finger.

Hmm, one "Jack Frost" has Michael Keaton, though in lame "reuniting with neglected son" mode. But the other has a pre-"American Pie" Shannon Elizabeth being raped to death in a bathtub by a psycho snowman, and hey, where did the carrot on his face go? No, I'm not making any of that up.

Neil Young also has an excellent one, off the album "Freedom". That album's full of great rock-guitar, and the title "Wrecking Ball" promises more, but it's a piano ballad whose loveliness rivals "Harvest Moon".