Will Abrams explain whatever happened to the Ewoks, since the Death Star exploded right over their home planet? Or will this be like Star Trek where Spock can look up in the sky and watch a black hole swallow Vulcan and yet somehow not suck in the planet he's on as well?

Oh good, because if there is one thing I love in my movies it's maudlin truisms and increasingly New Age mumbo-jumbo about the power of love. [cue: Huey Lewis and the News]. Does Coop learn a very important lesson? Do the frozen zygotes learn to love themselves if they just believe? Does Mackenzie Foy perish in…

IRS Agent: [picks up bottle of Tang, chuckles] Hey… isn't this the drink the astronauts took to the Moon?

… the Macarena?

It doesn't really matter what they call it, I'm just glad the "everything about this franchise now totally sucks but I'm still going to pay good money to see it" crowd is back. It's no fun to snark by oneself.

Next up in Rolling Stone: Morrissey still refuses to eat meat.

This is the man who gave us the movies Maximum Overdrive, The Mangler, Graveyard Shift, Silver Bullet and Sleepwalkers not because he was being "true to his artistic vision" but because he needed money for blow. And yet the old leathery carcass is still complaining about a movie that came out in 1980.

At least I still have Carl Kasell's voice on my answering machine. Death can never take that away from me.

an evil space monkey?

Is there a high body count in this or is this like the 70s Super Friends TV show where they couldn't show violence so the Legion of Doom was forced to come up with more and more convoluted ways to demonstrate that they were evil without doing anything that … you know, couldn't be defeated through bad puns and a stern…

which is like saying that once I got through Shakespeare, the Bible or Milton no one else would make references to those dead guys. these lists are like those who in the late 80s claimed that Morris Day and the Times would be the massive influence of the 00's … sure, make that claim if you want, but damn, Wes…

Whitman, Bharati, Sayat Nova, Lord Byron, Goethe, Mary Shelley and … oh, sorry, I thought you were talking about actual culture creators versus some momentary has-beens that in a blink of pop won't be remembered. But please, keep talking about Gaiman, Pynchon , Wes "the shark that ate my best friend" Anderson and…

Larry Blackmore's hi-top fade haircut and codpiece in Cameo's video Word Up?

look what tim burton did to the legend of sleepy hollow

I needs! I needs!

How many other actors can you name who've been in the same film with Ice-T, Anthony Montgomery and Rashaan Nall? Warwick Davis is always awesome.

Nerd Do Well. Ah, a British actor doing what he actually wants to and American audiences aren't getting it. That's not exactly news, since it's what John Cleese faced when he began Faulty Towers, "so what if he's having fun, it isn't Monty Python, gosh darn it!" Then again it's the truth behind almost anyone trapped…

It wasn't as terrible as initially feared, but the dialogue, soundtrack and story logic need a serious improvement …

The only real question will be if Cobblepot has rocket-shooting penguins at his beck and call. I can take a "Smallville meets the Muppet Babies" plot where every major villain just happens to live/grow up a couple of blocks away from each other, but if you're going to change Pamela Isley's name for no apparent reason…

The problem with Sin City was that once the thrill of the CGI wore off, then you had to actually start paying attention to things like plot and dialogue and that's where all the fun of the movie vanished.