There are days when I wish we all wrote in Scottish vernacular:

Do 448 comments equal a "fire storm"?

I'm all down with suspension of disbelief. Like in the waterfall scene when the T-Rex chases them under falling water, and a second later they are already dry — magic! Or when Stark is rolling on the ground and the attacking dinosaurs don't actually match up to what his body is doing — crappy CGI! Or when Ian and…

Ah, Hook! Spielberg living out his yuppie escapism fantasies through the body of Robin Williams. If only he had invested that money into a life-time supply of cocaine … he and Williams would be too happy to make movies … and then by default we'd be happy too.

If it ain't got Bert Lahr in it, I don't want to see it.

Sir, the Friend of Dorothy must take exception to you and your wife. We'll show you spunky!

When will someone do the gritty reboot of the Amazing Super Friends adventures on Planet Oz, with Mr. Mxyzptlk being played by Hornswoggle?

Wow, there are some actual fleshwads out in Internet-land that don't like Johnny Depp for vaguely homoerotic, deeply insecure reasons? Breaks out trusty Ouija Board, summons up the ghost of Liberace … oh yes, there's the quote I was looking for: "I cried all the way to the bank, b*tches." Next article, please ….

So this movie gets a B+? that means someone in the AV Club staff thought it was as good as another famous movie that featured a young prostitute, Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver. Now, I haven't seen Ozon's latest, so I can't compare, but I assume D'Angelo has, which is why he gave the movie such a high grade.

Suing over copyrights won't fix a broken system. As middle-men go, Sony, Warner, and Universal have never treated their artists fair; and yet they spin this idea that without them somehow music would stop getting made, stop being available to the public, stop allowing musicians a livelihood. I'm not saying that…

I'll go back to eating Raoul, thank you very much.

You lost me at the words "Woody Allen." Zzzz …

Why bring this ghost of the past up? Yeah, I saw this in the theater, Washington DC, 16 March, 1997. I had just been psycho vac'd from my Peace Corps assignment after a teenage girl under my care had been raped and I was powerless to do anything to stop it. In Peace Corps-speak a Psycho Vac is like a Medi Vac but only…

Is there any other kind of man-on-toy sex besides raunchy? Either Vishnevetsky has some explaining to do or subliminally he's trying to get the rest of us to rate this a C+

It's not that I disagree with the premise behind the book, it's just that by limiting its focus to only rock (and not including everyone who has been successful in the category) you don't get a very complete picture. Off the top of my head here is a list of female drummers and all-women drumming groups not mentioned…

Hatesong: stay classy, AV Club, stay classy.

Han Soloian

Good for you, Harrison Ford. Here's a man who knows that he can get away with acting anyway he wants because fanboys will keep shelling out their parent's money regardless. I am sure he is laughing all the way to the bank.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. always shoots first. He was like James Bond, except for the crippling alcohol dependency and hatred of the Beatles.

Canadians in the news, eh? Let me speak to them, I saw Strange Brew: "Coo loo coo coo, coo coo coo coo" … Justin, take off, you hoser!