Living Master? Really?

"… to write on a sheet
of paper that God is dead, then
sign it for credit, so that he
can move past the early
stuff and get to the things
he finds more fulfilling"
—- Basho

Cheap Thrills? Like the Janis Joplin record? because I'd seriously cut off my own hand if Janis asked, you know, during a seance, while using a Ouija board, after drinking Kool-aide and Drain-O. You just can't say no to Janis.

Terrance Howard plays a character named Sugartits? Huh, here I thought it was just an endearment Mel Gibson used for female cops.

Yeah, as other commentators pointed out, no version of Noah is as cool or funny as Bill Cosby's

Dour study of teenage mating habits … as told by someone who apparently hated both mating and being a teenager … will It Felt Like Love 2 be about the importance of celibacy and saving yourself for the solemnity of marriage? because having to hear rabid cynicism about premartial sex isn't exactly new. In fact, show me…

"the goal … was to mimic the effects of LSD without requiring actual drug intake."

An evil Kermit in a Russian gulag = wacky shenanigans! One more green frog who pissed off Putin. Does he do that Dr. Evil hand-thing, too? Because that hasn't aged poorly at all.

I agree that CW did a lot to help flesh out characters, except by doing that it also created a massive plot-hole no one seems to be able to explain. How does CW Anakin Skywalker devolve into Hayden Christensen? Besides sharing a name there is virtually nothing similar between them. CW Anakin is a general who is…

Cool, as we all know particle physicists are the sexiest kind of physicists, going so far as to make their super-collider look like a massive vagina dentata. Num-num-num.

But in a surprising twist the sniper never saw coming Elijah chooses to play Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto no. 4, a piece that sounds like it was composed out of nothing but bad notes, thus frustrating his would-be killer. Honestly, I can't see why this movie didn't get an A, because if there two things American…

The original script of Raiders states Mariam Ravenwood is 23 in the movie, Indie and her father had their falling out 10 years before, making Mariam 13 when whatever happened happened. George Lucas has gone on record (I think this was talked about in The People vs. George Lucas documentary, as well as Wiki, Cracked…

You know what's scary? Elevators … and M. Night Shyamalan … especially M. Night Shyamalan in elevators.

Does this mean a feature-length treatment of The World of Commander McBragg might one day become a reality? Quite.

Probably it depends on the viewer. For example, Charleston Heston claims he was unaware that there was any homoeroticism in Ben Hur. He also tried to play Michelangelo as a heterosexual. It's like they say, "denial isn't just a river in Egypt."

So … people are complaining that the 300 franchise isn't historically accurate when Xerxes, who according to Miller conquered the free world in search of more electric eyeliner, had crab-handed soldiers in his ranks? This is Frank "Holy Terror" Miller we're talking about, of course the bad guys all wear turbans.

If Indie has taught me anything it is that all Germans belong to the SS and are buffoonish whack-jobs easily defeated by just one pedophile university professor … plus, that it's somehow possible to cling to the outer hull of a U-Boat as it's sailing through the ocean and end up at the secret Nazi base drip-dry. I…

That would imply Costner was offered this movie, turned it down, and someone in Hollywood said, "No! Only the man who brought us Waterworld will be considered for this role!" Instead …. it was either this or going back to giving $5 bl*wjobs behind the 7-11 on Hollywood and Vine (cue: David Bowie's Cracked Actor)

3 Days to Kill 2: 2 Legit 2 Quit

"It's not pedophile, his name is Peter File."