If the Doctor dying in Utah was considered a "fixed point in time" that had to happen who (or what) was the Doctor fooling by using the Teselect in his place? Because if using "something that looks like the Doctor but didn't necessarily have to be him" worked then a cardboard cut-out could have done the same thing. If…

How, exactly, did the town of Christmas end up not having a single angel in it when they were 20 feet away in the woods? Were they just patiently waiting for the Doctor to show up to put mirrors in front of them?

I love me my Doctor but how can this get an A? Time of the Angels didn't even get an A and that was an amazing, amazing episode. If there was ever the question of what a "non-essential" Dr. Who conclusion looked like, this was it. There wasn't a single element to this episode that needed to be there.

"syphilis rolling a coconut"? so … is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?

It's not that FC was bad, it's just that Wanda had and has the nostalgia factor going for it, having seen it in the theater with all my friends at a certain age when it didn't matter if the film was good or bad, it got imprinted on my DNA as hilarious. I'm glad other people like FC, but for me the sad truth is that…

I always assumed Bettie Page and Mae West were long lost sisters …. in that I've heard a whole lot of people praise them for being risque-sirens and yet I only know them for a handful of quotes and very dated still-photos. On the other hand Mae West gave us a whole generation of old school drag queens and without Page…

Hello, I'm B.B. King. Did you know that every seven minutes a black person is born in this country without soul? Its cruel symptoms can strike anyone. Won't you please give so that T.D. "No Soul" Jakes here and so many others can become useful members of society. Thank you.

I've always found it odd that there are still liberal Kerouac fans out there, since the man more or less hated everything people kept claiming he and his books stood for. Hippies claimed him as an inspiration, as have many hipster Buddhists; in a book called Subterranean Kerouac, the author, Ellis Amburn, attempted to…

"I would not worship a God who is homophobic and that is how deeply I feel about this. I would refuse to go to a homophobic heaven. No, I would say sorry, I mean I would much rather go to the other place. I am as passionate about this campaign [for gay rights] as I ever was about apartheid. For me, it is at the same…

The Micronauts! I love the Micronauts! Their heads kept falling off but I'd always pretend they had fallen, once again, into a steam-powered metal press. Clumsy Micronaut is clumsy.

No, no, no, that's pronounced Miss Teak, the totally not copyrighted blue skinned drag queen from last season's RuPaul Drag Race.

… sometimes it's not so easy being Fearless Leader

"Hey, Paul, you assh*le, dub this!"
— Ringo Buys a Rifle, The Dead Milkmen

Imagine there's no Chappelle, it's easy if you try …

English literature teachers hate teaching English literature. When they get a new class full of bright young things excited to read their first impulse is to crush that desire. It's why they keep assigning Catcher in the Rye, Golding's Lord of the Flies and Steinbeck's The Pearl. Those books only exist to kill the joy…

At least Harry was a real wizard who did wizard things. The whole illusion that Artemis was, you know, a criminal, sort of went out the window in book 1. Then it was Ritchie Rich hanging out with Daddy Warbuck's body guard Punjab (or Oddjob or whatever "big n' wide Euroasian dude" is suppose to be in this context)…

I can understand why Robert Downey Jr is making so many Iron Man sequels: crippling heroine addiction. That sh$t costs money.  But Jackman is from Australia and as everyone named Bruce knows all they do Down Under is drink beer and not maltreat the Abbos in any way whatsoever … if there's anybody watching. Perhaps…

Zappa once said "Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read" … take out Rock and put in Brian Posehn and Marah Eakin and that sums this article up nicely: a has-been farting comedian talking about things he hates (because even considering mocking a…

"Women are a kind of savage animal who men have civilised with their instatiable sexuality. Women are essentially no different from radiators. I like my women like I like my toast. Hot, and consumable with butter" — Douglas's views on women.

"the screenplay was written by a man"