How come no one ever wants to make The Lady in the Water jokes?

The same reason we no longer call Native Americans "Redskins" or Chupacabras "Goatsuckers."

Wait, wasn't one of those two killed in a bombing during the pilot episode of "Caprica?"

That explains the scene with the little guy in a boat.

"But your honor, a gun is a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or uhh… an alligator."

Another person who "Can't Explain."

Don't forget all those anti-gay religious leaders who get caught snorting blow off gay hookers.

Not according to the 1995 film "Four Rooms."

It helps if you give the actors something to work with.

Leia wasn't the one who was chasing Wookiee Nookie. It was Han who spent years hanging out with an ever-present, inexplicably nude companion.

No, the best part of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was the "knowledge is the REAL treasure!" epilogue, followed by an appeal to visit your local library.

Or just The Planet of the Apes Rises.

Plus he believes in global warming and thinks the earth is statistically likely to be well over 5000 years old! I'm sticking with the good ol' conservative pundits like Newt Gingrich, who assures me that none of this year's major awards will go to people who have anything to do with Liberal Hollywood.

I don't remember being especially impressed by his acting either, but I'll concede that it wouldn't be fair to blame Ford for the complete and utter shitty-ness of that film.

Well I think it's high time someone made those two watch Electro-gonorrhea, The Noisy Killer.

"George, we're ready to get the actors into costu–"

Forget the Twi'lek girls. How about that BBW in Jabba's palace with the six hooters?

They already showed R2 whipping out his interface plug and sticking it in practically every computer terminal he came across in the original trilogy. He even reached climax on screen with that security door from ROTJ!

The tie-in novels are most remarkable for their tendency to repeat tired plot devices from the original trilogy.

A "surprising amount" in the sense that stuff which had no reason to be done as special effects was still CGI'd in after the fact. Part of the reason everything felt so cold and impersonal was that the actors spent most of their time walking around green screens and interacting with as-yet-nonexistent characters.