Speeder bike = corvette; Death Star = Hummer. Which one you purchase depends on your own personal type of self-loathing and disappointment in your life.

This article has done the most of anything I've read about the prequels to make me reconsider them as half-decent movies. Even though it says so many things that are downright wrong. Did it really imply that the underwater big-fish-eating-little-fish chase is "as good or better" than the trench runs? I think I blacked…

The one of "Under Pressure" live at Wembley with Roger handling all the non-Freddie vocals is AMAZING.

Does a back of the envelope calculation. "Yep, checks out."

The puzzle wasn't that Freddie's orbit was eccentric, it was the precession of his perihelion.

New York here is done.

"The question of whether he hired a sex worker is left as an exercise for the reader."

Okaay

And Chris Sarandon's exercise tips, To the Pain.

Ok, so SW Week has brought us Weird Al, The Fifth Element, Queen, Spaceballs, *and* Thrawn/Mara Jade, plus some easily ignored space garbage about the prequels. Go suck a mynock, haters; this is the most fun I've had on the AVClub in awhile!

I think… this makes me… want… to sing!

Love "Rock the Bells", love all the early RR production, love throwbacks like "99 Problems", and love how these early rap tracks (e.g. LLCJ, Run DMC, BB, Tone Loc) were so proud to be "rocking"!

So the Echo base ion cannon is still canon? Whew.

ThanderCuts Snarf snarf snarf.

Nothing's impossible to time-travelling Freddie Mercury! Next up, making sure baby Hitler gets adopted by a nice, Jewish family.

After this and The Professional, I'd watch Besson direct Oldman in a five-hour documentary about paint drying.

Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

Lucas makes sure that us Star Wars fans always get what we deserve, good and hard.

Yep, me too. In fact, it's gonna be a lot of work, but I'm going to scroll down and like every single comment that's a quote from this movie.

NO, SIR! I DIDN'T SEE YOU PLAYING WITH YOUR DOLLS AGAIN!