Oooh, I have two!!

It is at this point that I wish that I hadn't been on the "Newest First" setting. Had I read this thread first, I would never have typed my superfluous post downstream.

I refer to this as the "Verbing Noun" phenomenon. I implore all of you to think of a movie where this applies that is not absolute crap.

So, I am a severe irritant cum douche. I guess that means my therapist was right.

Woman who married man- Are you my ex wife by any chance? I'm really not too worried about her taking me for all I'm worth since we have separate bank accounts and it was her that actually convinced me to do this.

My name is pronounced Do-osh.
Question: How big a douche am I? I ask because I'm resigning from a $50,000+ a year job so I can spend more time with my new wife. I have a fair bit of money saved away and would rather make less for the time being so that I can work a normal schedule and spend time with her.

Yes, we have no bananas.

You listen to me you slackbellied shrieking harridan, I've been keeping that hot-taint-sweat remark sheathed for the better part of a month and I will not have some raging strumpet come in here and group me with the rest of the plebians.

No canceraids for you, but I'll send you a flood of hot taint sweat via FedEx.

Rather than fast forwarding through the naught scene, my English teacher actually spread her arms out in front of the screen to block it with a worried look on her face as if it were the first time she'd seen the movie.

My Dad was a manager for a Ryan's Steakhouse in a not very affluent are of Kansas City. He always referred to the buffet as the "trough."

Mr. Bananagrabber!!
Why would a banana want to grab another banana?

According to his Twitter feed, he had to leave the state and lay low for awhile.

::smashes glass in Spaceman Spiffs face::

@Spaceman Spiff: Do you by chance work for one of the many incarnations of Nestle? I ask because I got the same memo.

Anyone who dares besmirch the name of the fair Nia Vardalos will have their face crimsoned.

Dammit
littlealex beat me to it.
I've made it quite far in life without learning to read, so don't you judge me.

Attention:

I own a flask, and I've never had a drink in my life. I thought it would be funny to buy it and fill it with cranberry juice. Being the Doosh that I am I didn't think to occasionally clean the flask.

Whenever I cast the film version of "A Confederacy of Dunces" in my head, Oliver Platt is my Ignatius. Will Ferrell be damned!