I had a co-worker, and during a multi-city trip we'd help her try to find a novelty license for her. Even in Vegas, the closest we could find to 'Krista" was 'Krisla". The hell? Krisla? Well, we thought it was a lot funnier than she did.

I wish people would stop trying to make zeppelins happen. They aren't going to happen.

I never got to live with people who had an actual philosophy like that, even a ridiculous one. Just people worried about the mundane, disconnected aspects work, sex, free time, entertainment, parents, money and shit. No wonder I'm so boring.

It's like when fuck-up Dave somehow not only manages to hold a job down for six months in a row, but he's dating a girl who's actually a good match for him and he's lost about 20 pounds now that he's been working out. You feel robbed.

Mmm, engine-block eggs. If we can keep these down, we'll be
sitting pretty.

I got a Mob Doctor notification for this?!

It's these awesome moments when you realize there's a "my people" - right before you realize how terrible we are.

Well, maybe not the oatmeal racism cookies.

Gotta blame someone; this is America!

Doesn't "exhaustion" mean "in rehab for my out of control coke habit?" Well, it used to anyway.

Huh; usually you can distract her and lure her off the set with a few packs of clove cigarettes.

"Like Lone Star, but with dick jokes!"
"I'm laughing already - greenlight the first three seasons!"
"It's nice to have a job where you can be high all the time - thanks Showtime!"
"No, thanks America!"
"No, thanks Obama!"
"Hahaha - four seasons!'

Oh please. There's like six naked people up there right now, and that Dave guy could really benefit from joining a gym.

I think it was when that guy asked Sen. McCarthy is he had any decently, and well, he clearly didn't. And thus, by extension, neither did America.

I'm confused. Is it OK to get vicarious kicks from watching a hobo get humiliated or not? Asking for a friend, yo.

Oh you are not.

I found renting it is a much better deal. Plus they usually let you opt out a few months here and there and then re-sign up later, for those times when, well, you just gotta do a few things no one really needs to be talking about.

It's your own fault for not securing your wi-fi. Well, that and hanging up all those posters advertising those movies.

I've seen that show, and in context, it really makes you think.

Veteran of the Psychic Wars. It's morbid, doom-laden, a little cheesy and has a bitchin' guitar solo. Kind of everything I'd want.