I was down at the New Amsterdam staring at this
yellow-haired girl
Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation with this black-
haired flamenco dancer
She dances while his father plays guitar
She's suddenly beautiful
We all want something beautiful
I wish I was beautiful

Sometimes I worry my eyes are too small. Lauren Graham makes me feel better about it.

Don't tell me what to do, movie; you're not my supervisor!

She was a drunk divorced floozie 
Goin' a hundred and twenty miles per hour 
With her A-rab-play-boy-toy 
Down by the Eiffel Tower 
The driver just drank eight bottles of wine 
Ain't seen her kids in a long, long time

Hottest? I dunno. But was really, really cute in that.

Woot! Go Seattle Metropolitans, Stanley Cup winners! Stupid Spanish Flu.

Yeah, but there's a disappointing lack of Lohan.

Netflix!

Does "my eyes were glazed over, so I had to really concentrate on cooking my omelette" count?

"It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money."

I have absolutely no idea what I would do if someone knocked on my door and proceeded to try to sell me cheese.

Get real beard…

We weren't expecting robots to take away our black ops squads before they replaced hookers! Future bad!

He should get money just for that hairstyle!

Washington doesn't have a show.

They have looks, wealth, fame, adulation. We have to take them seriously as artists too? That seems like asking a lot.

It's a shame Grote Britain never caught on.

@avclub-75e43c12ef9f1cfdaeae92ca6fa90640:disqus Ad Rock?

My step-dad smoked (tobacco) and wasn't allowed to do so in the house. They really tried to make it work, but it was always an issue, and on a basic level there was always some resentment. I had a friend in college who also smoked, and none of my friends wives/girlfriends would let him smoke inside their places. We…

Nothing like realizing your dealer isn't actually providing you organic coke but instead something grown on a  factory farm in one of those anti-union States! The storm of sarcasm and smug oneupsmanship is enough to chill the soul!