I'm more likely to not see a movie based on a poor review than to see one based on a good one. I'm sure this says terrible things about me.

Needs more Poots.

Exactly. If you can prove you whacked 20 guys, do you really need to lie about five others? I'd like to think if I were a multiple murderer, I'd take pride in the ones I actually did and not just make up shit like any two-bit thug could.Eh… if I ever start killing a bunch of people, I'll let you know if I still feel…

I always think of a local review of Alien 4, which was more or less "Winona Ryder as a prissy android - now there's a stretch!"

I thought the bad guys were all non-military obstructionbist bureaucrats who don't realize that talk never works and the only answer to any question is cum-dreanched manly direct action, no matter how much unnecessary collateral carnage might occur.

A bunch of dudes sitting around talking about sexism is also pretty cool.

Well, if "in history" means "widely shown on television over the last week that someone told me about because I don't watch TV", which apparently it does, maybe?

What if you mixed Mountain Dew and PBR together. It wouldn't taste any worse than eitehr one, people wouldn't think less of you for it (because they can't) and you get to out douche the douches. Either that or find a place where they still sell  Four Loko.

Black people and menacing livestock. What's not funny?

"I don't want to be an asshole, but… fuck you." Now just run that back and forth through google translate about 35 times and you have a generic internet whine comment, at about the expected grammer and syntax level.

I'm going to assume this is lazy attempted sarcasm, which, while not funny, is sort of site-appropriate. Even though it's probably not. Plus, Videodrome is awesome.

As a kid in Oregon, it was "panther piss", because we really liked alliteration.

It's like when I was in college any I had two past-obese friends who would drink Diet Pepsi, 64 ounces at a time, all day long. It creeped me out.

It is amazing how quickly it gets flat; even off-brand root beer lasts longer.

I've always been partial to The Sperminator.

Maybe comic book concepts just are deep enough to support this kind of thing in the first place? But that aside, it's unclear who this was intended for, market-wise. Whereas Lee's Hulk was a misguided attempt to make an adult comic book movie without abandoning the hidebound genre elements (and thus was kinda boring…

I dunno; unlike Poehler's (until the most recent season anyway), that woman has human-looking hair color. When porn looks more real than what it's making fun of, things can get kinda confused down south.

Since the dawn of time man has sought to make a living viewing porn and lazily talking and/or writing about it. If you succeed, sir, you may very well have redeemed (well, more or less half of) our species!

I rememebr in college going to a bar and they had a lip-synching contest. One guy couldn't synch worth shit to The Humpty Dance, but danced really well and was really entertaining. A girl stood like a robot to some Madonna song but her lip movements were perfect. And then some douchebag took off his pants and did the…

District 1001