I think he needs to acknowledge my sexual prowess in each of these write-ups, but other than that, I'm fine with them.

I'm just happy with the complete Village Vanguard recordings with Dolphy and Coltrane. That stuff kills.

Wasn't one of them used in a car commercial? Haitian Fight Song maybe?

I agree with this thread. Mingus x 5 is my go-to for when I want some Mingus. One thing you have to give Impulse! albums. They sound incredible, all warm and full-bodied, like a red wine I poured into my pants.

Good Point, check out "Oh Yeah" by Mingus. As I said above, I love it because it's so rough and unpolished. He plays piano, not bass, on that one, so it's a strike against, but otherwise, it's a wonderful album, especially if you like fiery rousing jazz rather than the more sedate or cool kind.

10 million dune buggies, coming down the mountain…

Sure.. alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll they wanna do is rock. What's wrong with that?

Unrelated sidenote: "The Poopwagon Judgment" is my new paperback legal thriller, coming soon to an airport bookstore kiosk near you.

James Taylor was another poopwagon. I'm just saying. He can write a song, sure, but do I want to listen to it? Probably not.

While I'm really more of a cultural douchestone.

My fucking sack contains two testicles, no more no less.

Except in real life it sounded more like "…innit?"

True, true. Still, as a postscript, it's worth noting that I did in fact know a guy who wore parachute pants and a bandana tied around his leg, as well as a Michael Jackson-style leather jacket with zippers on it.

Submissions?
So how do you get submissions for this column? In other words, do record labels just send you stuff, or do you pull it out of your own collection or what?

I mean, outside of just likening it to other sounds…

True, but you're still using an incredibly inadequate means of communication to describe something that's simply not that communicable via words. I think it's a very apt description: how much can you really describe a sound?

Oh hells no. NWA was the shiznit.

Sure: Hollywood Star Whackers have again expressed their irritation at their total inability to get Charlie Sheen. He's just too awesome.

Hey, y'all shut up about that stuff. This is the one area where I absolutely think Sheen's got it going on. I really would love to have two fine ladies in their 20s living with me and doing all manner of disgusting sexual stuff with me. Now, taking care of my kids (if I had any)? Not so much. But the rest of it? …

Plus, it captured the conflicted feelings our man on the scene O'Neal was feeling about what he saw, and that's important, especially given that most of what we're getting on this story is spectacularly unnuanced. Up til now, it's been all crazy, all the time, and a lot of fun. But this gives a much deeper look, and…