And I'm hungry for Japanese porno, assuming they can finally make some where the woman doesn't look like she's in pain.

I love this chick.

Yes, yes he is. Plus, none of the other staffers are allowed to look at his face, and the female staffers must always walk five paces behind him, and must pick up any droppings he releases.

I applaud your bravery. Once more into the breach!

I believe it is. I think I recognize him from the videocracy stuff.

The real crime is that most Japanese women are almost mind-bendingly hot, so seeing them like that is a real disappointment.

Yeah, I can't really comment with any authority on Japanese sexuality, but I will say that it doesn't always translate well to Westerners. (Haha, given the thread above me, doesn't everyone appreciate my understatement of the obvious?)

After the date, Ima wanna do the wild thing
You want lobster, huh, I'm thinkin' Burger King

Shit, I've been trying to mack on Koski for awhile now, but it seems she's aware of my rep as "Lieutenant Watermelon Dick about town" and won't give me her number. Or fly down to Houston for maximum smooches.

Anything with lychee. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Wait a minute… mistaken identity confusion
How could Lieutenant Watermelon Dick be pulling pranks on this show? I was never in Jersey!

Hey Blossom, I've got a lot of spunk too! Wanna see some of it?

Washington, the problem with Wizards of Waverly Place is that Selena Gomez was TOO damn hot, so I lusted after her hardcore knowing she was too young for me, and then I found out just HOW too young. OMG. Yeah, that was a shocker.

For the record, I do care about all of your pubes put together.

America will let you down, ortenzia…. just like it did when I asked it to create a "Handies Across America" service. No such luck.

MF DOOM is playing Houston in June at the Free Press Summerfest. Awwww yeahhhh…

I loved Ren & Stimpy, but only the 1st season, and only as a stoned-and/or-hallucinating college student.

I yearn for the day when people stop making comments about Cookie Monster as a "gimmick". I prefer to think of him as the actual Cookie Monster. It's so much more enjoyable that way!

It would appear that one fellow in the picture is exposing his penis. How gauche.

I vote for "Bootylicious" as the correct spelling.