Wow, touchy much?

Or he could do something TOTALLY unexpected and do it in character as Bob Balaban.

The TRUTH?! Tom Cruise can't HANDLE the TRUTH!!

Can't someone do something they really love, something that's REALLY hard on you and takes a lot out of you, and something that the vast majority of people think is one long party without a care in the world, and write a song trying to set the record straight? I mean, I understand where you're coming from; the…

Animals > The Wall

Even his 1997 Plymouth?

I hate Amanda Palmer like a crazyman, but I'd still like to take this moment to gently dip my scrotum onto each one of Squelchy's eyeballs in an attempt to tickle his iris with my ball-pubes. He's just that much of a dick.

And Cannibal of the Slave God.

Osborne wants a hairier ass?

I think this speaks to a larger divide on movie watching… people who watch for the story and people who watch for the actors. My boss watches for the actors, so I can't come down on that too hard, but seriously, it can be the most amazing movie in the world, and if it doesn't have someone she likes in it, she won't…

Oh yeah, Sally. That was sad. She turned me on to the National and Band of Horses, but now she can't turn me on at all.

History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man…

Terry Riley, still alive and kicking.

Except I don't know the movies he's listed. I do know Inside Eden, Splendor In My Ass, and Dr. Strangecock. Are they related in some way?

Sorry, I snarted.

I'll sue him if he takes that one. It took me weeks to come up with.

So Charlie Sheen wants to create a Porn Family, eh? I knew we had something in common, and I knew it wasn't being buddies with Duckie.

I tattooed my entire GeoCities page on my ballsack. Sure, I've got a big scrotum, but to be fair, my GeoCities page was just a couple of dancing baby gifs and "WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF PAIN!!!!!!1" in flaming all-caps font.

Shut up! I DO like that the grandma is dead!

Just looking at that picture above, I'd say it's at least DD material.