I hate it when people communicate at all.

Tittyfucking is AWESOME. Don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.

Helmsley, I like to think that's the national motto of some small ancient backwards Eastern European country that hasn't quite got the concept down.

McRotch! As in Phil McRotch.

With freight grunts come crate mobility.

I believe the backstage area is behind all of these accidents.

Annnnnd…

Whoa, "too big"? I can think of only a few times EVER in which that is a phrase that makes any sense at all. It's like pornography… you know it when you see it. Sure, I guess we have to make allowances for everyone's personal tastes, but calling Christina Hendricks' boobs "too big" just seems ridiculous to me. If…

Verily, few women on this earth can stir within me that urgent desire to make babies as Christina Hendricks. Sure, I'm not saying anything a million and a half other nerds haven't said already, but seriously, I don't want kids AT ALL, but she pretty much forces me to want to mate just by looking at me like that.

I am moved
Moved, but poor. Fail.

That would've scanned better if she left the word "songs" out of it.

I wish Anne Hathaway would blow my fucking penis.

SNOOP DOGGIE DOGG NEED TA GET A JOBBIE-JOB!!

I'm with Binky, that Exotica primer got me to buy a BUNCH of stuff.

Really? I would've stopped after "I'm pretty sure you'll never have a relationship".

Sure, but over-enunciating is annoying no matter how it's employed.

"Ow! I burned my mouth on that pizza!"

Word. I think I even stretched my Foreman grill out to the second and third years of living alone.

Oh, well then scratch the making out, and we'll just actually really play baseball.

What about fox-snipping, or talking clits? I'd see that movie.