Or maybe she teams up with Lobo… there's a lot of potential there.

You would get diarrhea on your dick. If you're cool with that, then by all means, INTO THE BREACH!!

A TV Personality! Like, a personality spontaneously generated by the TV. That leads of course to the wonderful realization that when you turn the TV off, that personality disappears, only to be reincarned, golem-like, once you turn the TV back on.

Oh Duphilia, I already do. I already do.

I like the idea that you got so swept away by the sales pitch that you spent $200 you didn't really have. Like a really GOOD sales pitch is so magical it spontaneously generates cash in your bank account for you to spend on the product being sold.

Oh man YES, I love love love using bacon grease to make eggs. I remember the first time I had fried eggs at a restaurant, and was disappointed both in the lack of bacon flavor, and the relatively clean almost white appearance of the eggs. Fried eggs are supposed to be all brown from bacon grease!

Actually I kind of hope that my future lady really does have the skills to fight off the starvin' Irish as she peels potatoes. That's a heady skillset.

Holy fuck, Air Supply did an infomercial? I'm going to have to watch that whenever I get home. Because that's going to make my night.

Hm. In retrospect, there are probably several phrases I would've swapped out with other more femme-approved verbiage, but with no edit option, I'm stuck with the choices I've made. Consider it an analogy for America's current situation in Iraq.

Oh now MDDG, that was just a skit for the nice people, but you know it could be you and me someday. ;)

They almost always have an "As Seen On TV" aisle at the Walgreens here in Houston. You should come down and check it out, MDDG. I will take you to a Walgreens, and show you the "As Seen On TV" aisle. Then, we will buy condoms, but only the finest condoms available, specially flown in from the world-famous…

I consistently and sincerely hate her style. I doubt I'm one of the few on that one.

So Claudia, when are we going to listen to some Dresden Dolls together and make out? I would totally get to second-and-a-half base with you!

Yes, reggae.

Jinx, Sacks Romana. You owe me a Coke.

And in the end…
the love you take is equal to the love you pay for with a couple of finskies in a truckstop parking lot, one eye on the "woman" knob-jobbing you, and one eye on the lot entrance, watching for cops, or some crazy private citizen with a digital camera and a website.

So I says to Martha,
I says "Martha, what are you doing in the kitchen with all that racket and hoopla?!" And Martha, she says "I'm peelin' the potatas for the church pick-a-nick!" And I says to Martha I says "Sure I can understand that, but what's with the commotion and the fuss?" And Martha she says to me she…

Plus,
I loved him in Robocop!

Shit, if I got stoned at lazer tag, I'd just stand in a corner somewhere shooting myself repeatedly, laughing uncontrollably.

Actually Ricin, I was figuring Torn's mugshot was just the "gritty reboot" of Nick Nolte's mugshot, back when they caught him doing ketamine or whatever it was.