I've said it before, I'll say it again. You're welcome here in Houston.

Mmmm Xuxa. Boobies on kids shows. Ain't nuthin wrong with it. Frankly, I'm hard-pressed to state any instance where boobies are inappropriate. They bring a man's blood pressure down just LOOKING at them, for crying out loud. It's science fact!

Malcontent, if you can rub one out to me, you can rub one out to ANYTHING.

" there was a lot of creepy shit like weirdass movie candy and posters in the middle. And the floor was all kinds of questionably stained."

I'm from the muthafuckin Sexual House of Representatives!

That's very Reasonable of you.

Yeah, but William Joel didn't initiate the conflagration…

They're still laughing at you. Time does not heal ALL wounds.

I saw Scott Joplin and Jelly Roll Morton on the 1911 "Ragers of Ragtime" tour, and they fucking burned the mothafucking house down!

Heheheh. You guys certainly do tickle a man's penis-bone.

Jon Wurster once saved me from a terrible automobile accident, and then after performing a ballpoint pen tracheotomy on me, he took the seven girls I'd gotten pregnant and delivered their babies, and then christened them as an ordained priest! After that, he gave all the babies their vaccinations, set my broken…

Another example of the post coming out great when matched with the avatar. Good job, Sugartits.

Don't stick your dick in these holes! Don't stick your dick in these holes!

Any two hot chicks want to have a threesome with me? I promise I will only stab you with my penis, and only then in one of the pre-approved orifices for such stabbing.

That actually goes pretty well with your picture.

If she vajazzles her vajayjay and then joins VaJourney to kick out some slow vajams, I might just have to vajoin in the fun and vajizz all over vaJennifer.

You're drunk at 1:04 pm? That's strangely awesome. I'm envious.

Dammit MDDG. Everytime you post about yourself, I get all happy in the pants. You need to move to Houston and make me your "special friend".

Yeah, that doesn't help.

A grilled cheese sandwich with a light salad and a cookie at the end.